Thursday, February 15, 2007

New Revelation!!

A new papyrus scroll has been found in the Middle East! Biblical experts believe that it contains additional revelations of John the Apostle, and if not lost for these thousands of years, would likely have been contained in the Book of Revelation. (Like most of the Book of Revelation, it's quite difficult to interpret.) This is the translated text:

Revelation 15
9 And I beheld children with rings of gold in their noses and their ears, and shafts of silver in their tongues. And I beheld that they were painted with a color that would not wash off in the rain. And they did wear their raiment in a manner in which it hung low upon their loins. And they did also have jewels and rings and objects of great worth in the buttons of their bellies.
11 And I beheld that their dwelling places did each have a great dish pointing heavenward. And behold I was mystified, because the dish gathered not the word of Heaven, but rather the word of him who was cast forth from Heaven.
12 And I beheld those from the Land of the Moving Picture Box, going forth to the Dark Continent in great silver birds, and fetching back babies of various sizes and colors.
13 And behold, I did see multitudes in their horseless chariots. Yet they did not move, but rather did sit in their chariots in long lines from sunrise to sunset. And they did speak into little black boxes, as if to themselves.
14 And behold, I did see yet another horseless chariot, just before the End of Times. And this final chariot did contend mightily with other horseless chariots in the Great and Final Race, in the Land of Daytona. And its name was… TOYOTA.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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Your jaw will drop!