Idaho Spud

My friend Peter

2011-06-30T20:49:00.026-06:00

"Good day, Peter!"
"Good day, Steve!"

That's the daily email dialogue between two friends, that has routinely started my day for 10+ years. Mundane. Occasionally it varied; perhaps a language variation such as "Buenos dias, Pedro!" "Buenos dias, Esteban!" or some other embellishment.

Tuesday, June 21.

"Good day, Peter! Happy summer! Summertime - and the livin's easy."

No reply. Very uncharacteristic of Peter.

The day went on, and I didn't get any messages, or phone calls. Troubling. We're 2500 miles apart - me in Boise and he in Billerica, Mass. But we work closely together doing tech support, etc.

I asked around - nobody expected Peter to be out; he hadn't signed up for vacation time. Not a peep from him all day.

Wednesday, June 22.

I arrive at the office at the same time as Stan, the president of the company.

"Did you hear about Peter?" he asks. (It should be noted that everybody in the organization knows Peter.)

"No - what?"

"They found him outside his house, with a severe head injury. It doesn't look good."

NO!!!

I ran to my cube and emailed his colleagues, across the Fruited Plain in Billerica. I was imagining a mugging, or some other violent incident. But... Peter? Something like that couldn't happen to Peter!

And it didn't. The evidence pointed to a tragic accident. The door of his house was locked, the upstairs window was open, with Peter lying directly underneath.

Personally, I reckon some marauding raccoons may have been involved. For you see, Peter had told us (myself and a circle of a half-dozen friends in a half-dozen locations) that he'd been having raccoon trouble. One of the last emails I got from him the day before:

Don't tell Teri, but I got the pepper spray to ward off those dang raccoons!
Bring it on!
;-)

Could Peter have been leaning out an upstairs window, delivering pepper spray at the rascals, and lost his balance? (What other explanation could there be?)

They airlifted him to the big hospital in Boston - arguably the best medical care on the planet. They did surgery to relieve the pressure on his brain. His mother came in from Philly. And we waited... and waited... and prayed... and waited some more...

Peter never regained consciousness.

I feel like a permanent cloud has blocked the sunshine.

Yeah, I'm feeling sorry for myself. (I'm sure Peter's fine. And I expect we'll be reunited someday, Up Yonder. As my bride replied, when I told her: "I guess that's just one more thing to look forward to in the future. Lucky guy, he's in a much better place. It's hard being the ones left behind.")

Peter Allen - a man with a natural cheerfulness and optimism, that most of us can only envy!

A "Renaissance Man" in every sense of the word - excellent at his job, but with a wide variety of outside interests and talents. Some of them that I'm aware of: music... theater... movies... crazy cars... amusement parks and roller coasters! Peter loved the coasters! He'd tell us of his coaster-specific jaunts. He'd tell us of the latest 90-degree, 4-G-force, 85mph coaster to come on the scene. (He was happily anticipating "Untamed" - a coaster that just came online on June 11, up in his "neck of the woods.")

Peter had a gift with the English language... speaking and writing. One of his jobs was to document software bugs for our vendor. A real snoozer of a responsibility, huh? Not necessarily... a couple times he wrote 'em up in "hard-boiled gumshoe" style. He referred to himself as "Mister A - Private Investingator." (The misspelling – investingator – was deliberate. We teased him when he "fat fingered" it once, and it became an ongoing shared amusement.) The software vendors were not amused at Peter’s poetic license, but some of us laughed so hard we cried.

We made up job-related lyrics to some well-known tunes, and Peter regaled us by phoning 'em in to voicemail. In one, Peter does a pretty decent Elvis interpretation of "Heartbreak Hotel," lamenting the frequent network drops we were experiencing at the time.

(NOTE: If you are interested in reading some of Peter's hardboiled detective prose, or listening to his vocal stylings, click on the little folder link, just below. If the music sounds as though it's coming out of a speaker-phone... that's how it happened. Enjoy!)

Peter loved and admired his mom. If he wasn't off ridin' a roller coaster, he was using his vacation time to visit his mom in Philly... or to travel someplace with her. My recollection is that the two of them had gone to the California Bay Area not too long ago. On May 5, I got an email, "I'm going down to Philly for the day on Sunday to visit Mom."

Peter referred to literally everybody as "my friend." A lot of people have lost a friend in Peter.

When he was last in Boise, Peter came over and had dinner with us in the back yard, on a lovely summer day. Since then, whenever I have boasted about my granddaughter - it's a frequent, pathological thing - he would remind me that he held her in his arms, when she was a tiny baby. (She's 4 now.)

21 months ago, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I elected to have surgery, and confided in a few close friends, including Peter. His faith and optimism buoyed me up, and made me recognize in him a true spiritual brother. (And he and Crystal sent me some fantastic butter toffee, that surely hastened along my recuperation! The "Bacon Mints" that he sent me on another occasion? Not so much. HAHAHAHAHA!)

Can a close friendship be maintained when those friends are 2500 miles apart, and sustained primarily by emails and phone conversations? I emphatically declare, "Yes!!"

I expect the sun will come out from behind the cloud, eventually. But the departure of my friend Peter will leave a big void, for quite some time.

Beethoven must be rolling over!

2011-03-15T12:57:00.004-06:00

I'm sorry, folks, but I feel compelled to speak out. For you see, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's inductees this year include Neil Diamond and Tom Waits.

I'm assuming it's the well-known "Sweet Caroline" Neil Diamond.

He's talented... and he may belong in some sort of Hall of Fame. But the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame? Not on my planet!

Who's next? Barry Manilow? Wayne Newton? Steve and Eydie?

(I might also mention Doctor John. He's a talented guy - plays that New Orleans gumbo on a piano and has contributed to many, many nice recordings. But "hall of fame"? I'm not convinced.)

Some interesting stuff from the Hall of Fame Web Page...
- Currently there are 605 people in the Hall, in its 25th year.
- The inductees include performers, "early influences," and non-performers like producers, engineers, etc.
- They "generally induct five to seven performers each year."

I think they better slow down, if they're inducting Neil Diamond and Tom Waits. There aren't five to seven good rock and roll acts coming out each year any more. And they're diluting things.

Consider:

In the first two years, they inducted Chuck Berry, James Brown, Ray Charles, Jerry Lee Lewis, Roy Orbison, Elvis, and Muddy Waters (among others).

In the most recent two years, they've inducted Abba, Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond, Genesis, The Stooges, and Tom Waits (among others).

I rest my case.

(Sure - those more recent folks have made some fine music. But I question that their names should be chiseled in stone alongside those earlier ones.)

Another tidbit from the website, about the nomination/induction process:

The Foundation’s nominating committee, composed of rock and roll historians, selects nominees each year in the Performer category. Ballots are then sent to an international voting body of more than 500 rock experts.

The recent inductions make me question the nominating committee and the aptitude of these so-called "rock experts." (For the record, I've never gotten a ballot. What's with that?)

I know there are millions of Neil Diamond fans out there. But surely his induction in to the Rock & Roll thing has even them scratching their heads in wonderment... wouldn't you think?

Here's some speculation... maybe next year the inductees will be The Bay City Rollers, Bobby Goldsboro, and the band that did that "Nah-nah, hey-hey, goodbye" song.

Notable absences from the Hall (in my opinion):
- Jimmy Buffett (Some would say he doesn't "rock" - but putting Neil Diamond and Tom Waits in there kinda blows THAT argument…)
- Deep Purple (according to Wikipedia, they've sold 100+ million records, and I like 'em!)
- Jethro Tull (Wikipedia - 60 million, ditto)
- Stray Cats / Brian Setzer
- Richard Thompson
- Stevie Ray Vaughan
- REVEREND HORTON HEAT (Yeah, probably not famous enough… but IMO they are the current KINGS of Rock & Roll! If not them… then who?)

Visiting the "new" statehouse!

2010-01-06T12:50:00.003-07:00

Since I'm not riding the bike right now, I've been going on a short walk on some afternoons. (Don't want the moss to start growing!)

Yesterday I decided to stroll over and take a look at the newly-renovated State Capitol, 3 or 4 blocks away.

(It has undergone a 2+ year, $90+ million renovation, to add space, bring everything up to code, and to repair 90 or so years of decay. One might ask if the taxpayers can afford such an expense when we're not making budget, and when there are schools around the state with leaky roofs. But you must realize that the guys who hold the purse-strings use the Capitol, so miraculously they found a way!)

The first door I came to had a sign in the window:
OFFICIAL BUSINESS ONLY
GENERAL PUBLIC, USE THE STATE STREET ENTRANCE

Okay... that's reasonable. I strolled on around to the State Street entrance. The sign there said:
OFFICIAL BUSINESS ONLY

I figured I'm a taxpayer! That's pretty darn official! So I went on in.

There was a rent-a-cop sitting at a desk. Some older folks were in front of me, signing into a guest book.

Then it was my turn. I proceeded forward and took hold of the pen to sign in.

The conversation, to the best of my recollection, went as follows:
RAC (rent-a-cop): Do you have official business?
Me: I suppose not. I just wanted to come in and look at the newly-renovated building for a few minutes.
RAC: Well, I'm afraid you can't. Lori Otter [the governor's wife] is going to have a grand opening ceremony on the front steps this Saturday. Until then, it's not open to the public.
Me: Hmmm. Maybe I misunderstood. I'm a taxpaying citizen, and I thought this was my building...
RAC: Oh, it is your building!
Me: But... only in the sense that I help pay for it. NOT in the sense that I can actually come in. Is that correct?

The RAC was kinda flustered... I guess I got in the last word. I exited, figuring the alternative was to get wrestled to the floor by jack-booted government thugs... or maybe Tazed into whimpering submission. And who needs THAT?!!

"Tea Party" 2009

2009-04-15T18:53:00.002-06:00

Count me among those citizens who are deeply concerned about the total lack of fiscal responsibility by our "elected representatives," particularly those in Washington, DC.

People and organizations with a lick of common sense (and in the case of the State of Idaho, organizations that are constrained by the State Constitution) live within their means, and tighten their belt when the going gets tough. By stark contrast, the Fed spends money like never before, in some ill-conceived scheme of "spending our way to prosperity." It's never worked in the past... but by golly, let's try again! And our kids and grandkids can pay all that money back, anyway. No worry!

I was delighted that a grassroots "Tea Party" materialized in Boise (along with hundreds of other places across the Fruited Plain). I was there. I met the marchers enroute and joined in, marching down Capitol Boulevard to the State House.

Are these fringe radicals? Are they anti-government? Maybe a few are. I believe the vast majority are patriotic American citizens who are deeply concerned about the direction we're headed. (And I don't mean the direction starting last January... we've been headed in a bad direction for quite some time. Unfortunately, some people have come to expect that the government should take care of every citizen's every need. And unfortunately, it's not sustainable.)

Is anybody paying attention?

(One comment/criticism... this should have been strictly about deficit spending and fiscal matters. But inevitably there were fringe issues that attached themselves. There was the "Bibles in school" crowd. And the "Pro Life" crowd. And the "Get us out of the U.N." crowd. And I saw one lady with a sign that said, "Show us your birth certificate, Obama." I suppose one view is that the issue we have in common today is government spending. But I can't help but feel that they were a distraction on Tea Party Day.)

Change We Can Believe In?

2009-01-21T12:21:00.002-07:00

My daughter, who's in high school and will be old enough to vote in less than a year, came home yesterday and said, "We had to watch that inaguration stuff in all my classes! It was so boring!!"

Her momma replied something like, "You should be interested in government, because you're almost an adult and you'll get to vote soon."

"But Mom, it just doesn't matter, no matter who gets elected!"

Although I have admiration for the "Obama Youth" who energetically supported his campaign, as a firm believer that "small government is good government," I can certainly appreciate my daughter's sentiments. And I can understand why so many of my fellow citizens are apathetic and cynical about government.

The size and scope of government grew exponentially during the 8 George W. Bush years. And I'm not seeing much to give me hope that it will soon change.

President Obama gave a stirring inaguration speech. I listened to his every word, and was truly moved by some of the things he said.

To our enemies, he said, "We will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist." Fantastic. But he also cited "... the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint" as part of our arsenal in the war on terror. Some people, unfortunately, don't recognize such ideological weapons; in fact they perceive them as weakness.

But... back to fiscal policy and the size/scope of government.

More of President Obama:

"Greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey ... has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work..."

"Those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government."

"As much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate."

All of that sounds great.

But my small-government mind sounds the alarm when I hear something like, "We have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task. This is the price and the promise of citizenship."

Is that a new and difficult government task he's referring to, that we should all be loyal to as good Americans?

"... there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage."

Is that "purpose" defined by new government mandates?

48 years ago (!), on January 20, 1961, another newly-elected president said, "Ask not what your country can do for you."

How times have changed!

Unfortunately, there seems to be a huge group of citizens and voters who are asking precisely, "What can our government do for us??" And I didn't hear much in President Obama's eloquent speech to refute it.

Obama: "The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end."

To be replaced by different programs and initiatives? Most likely.

We have evolved to the point where many feel entitled to cradle-to-grave financial security, free health care, free prescription drugs, free internet. If a bank fails due to incompetence or greed... bail it out! (Give 'em more taxpayer money.) If a company is failing because its customers have abandoned its obsolete product... bail it out! If unwise consumers move in to a house that is way more expensive than they can afford, and fill it with installment-plan furnishings that they can't make payments on... no problem! The taxpayers will pick up the tab! (It'll help the economy!)

Back in JFK's day, government spending was measured, and debated, in the millions. Nowadays they can spend HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS without batting an eye! And if there is no positive result, the answer is "We didn't spend enough - let's spend hundreds of billions more!"

What would George Washington, or Ben Franklin, or Alexander Hamilton, say about how government is conducted in the 21st Century?

And why, oh why, didn't they put something in the Constitution about spending all those billions that haven't been collected yet? That's a heavy burden to put on our kids and grandkids, along with Social Security, Medicare, and all the other ongoing programs. President Bush obviously has tremendous confidence in his daughter's earning power and ability to pay the installments. I suspect Obama will have the same confidence in his two beautiful little daughters.

President Obama's critics say he's a socialist at heart, who will grow government even more than his predecessor. He insists he's a moderate. And the thing about his speech is... it was quite ambiguous, albeit eloquent. And a speech can be delivered by anybody, once it's in the teleprompter. That speech could've been delivered, perhaps without Obama's considerable delivery skills, by Nancy Pelosi or Ron Paul... know what I mean?

Time will tell.

Meanwhile, by nature I'm cautiously optimistic... tempered by a large dose of learned cynicism. "Small government" seems as old-fashioned and quaint as JFK's speech, nowadays.

Let Them Eat Asphalt!

2009-01-14T15:25:00.002-07:00

In his 2009 State of the State speech, Governor Butch Otter discussed at length the economic conditions that will surely force a pullback in government services this year.

There's no getting around it. Aside from raising taxes, or spending money we don't have (which is prohibited by the State Constitution... THANK GOODNESS!), the only alternative is some significant belt tightening.

Otter continues to push for more money for roads. This an ongoing theme; he claims we need $240/million more per year, just to maintain the existing infrastructure. (He wants to raise the money with a combination of gas tax and increased registration fees. I've commented previously on that topic, HERE.)

Of course, the "loyal opposition" jumped all over Otter's plan to scale back the budget.

Women, children, and the poor, will be hardest hit! (Same old story.)

"My senator" (Werk) even came up with a catch sound-bite, condemning Otter's "Pavement over People" priorities.

Criminy! You'd think only the aristocrats were allowed to drive on the roads! (And if that were the case, I bet maintenance costs would go WAY down!)

Here's some Harsh Reality... at least as I see it.

Reality: We've had a string of decent years, economy-wise, and we've seen government budgets at every level (federal, state, county, city) grow faster than inflation, or population, or any other indicator. New programs have been added, and old programs have been shored up with increased funding. But alas... the party is over. The Feds can continue to spend like there's no tomorrow, and even add new programs, bailouts, incentives, with impunity. (Our grandkids will have to pay it back.) But everybody else is facing some uncomfortable budgeting decisions. (Kinda like responsible families and businesses, when funds are cut back.)

Reality: This is NOT a good time to ask taxpayers to dig a little deeper. A significant number have joined the unemployment lines, for cryin' out loud! (Of course, a more astute economic genius might be able to explain to me, "We are giving you a $1000 stimulus payment... paid by you the taxpayer sometime in the future... why can't you give $500 back to the government?")

Reality: It makes sense that those who will suffer most from significant budget cuts are... the people who use the most government services. (You don't have to be Einstein or that wheelchair guy to understand that!)

Reality: There are people who truly have heavy burdens to bear. But there are also people whose main focus in life seems to be finding every government program they can take advantage of, to lighten their personal load. I know both kinds of people; I bet you do, too. Perhaps Roger Miller said it best - they "know every handout in every town, and every lock that ain't locked when no one's around." Not only that - they quickly develop a sense of entitlement - taxpayers OWE those services to them from that point forward, for some reason.

Reality: It is WAY easier to add a new government program, than to eliminate one. In fact, it's almost impossible to eliminate a program, because it will negatively impact some constituency. I guess we'll find out this year if programs can be scaled back, or maybe even eliminated.

These statements from Otter resonated with THIS taxpayer/citizen:

"... those of us in state government are facing the same kinds of painful, gutwrenching choices that individuals and families all over Idaho are making with their personal finances. And the decisions you and I make will bear on the ability of every Idahoan to fulfill their own responsibilities."

"The question that you and I must honestly answer on every occasion is whether meeting those [real peoples'] real needs falls within the sphere of the necessary and proper role of taxpayer-funded government services."

Frankly, those questions should be asked in the "feast" years as well as the "famine" years, seems to me.

Who's funnier - Liberals or Conservatives?

2009-01-02T12:01:00.002-07:00

If you're a News Junkie, like me, you probably saw the recent flap about a parody song called "Barak, the Magic Negro."

I have never heard the song; from what I understand it's sung to the tune of "Puff, the Magic Dragon," by a guy who's impersonating the Reverend Al Sharpton. And the jist of the song is apparently about how President-elect Obama has succeeded because he doesn't have a "ghetto" background (as perceived by other African-Americans).

Defenders of the song say it's a sarcastic indictment of the mainstream media and their unwavering embrace of Obama throughout the recent campaign and election. Detractors say it is racist.

I doubt most of those detractors know any more about the song than I do. But since it has the word "negro" in it, it's obviously racist.

(The song has been out there in the public for quite some time; evidently Rush Limbaugh used it regularly, much to the delight of his loyal fan base. The reason it recently was thrust back into the news is because a guy who wants to be Chairman of the Republican Party sent out CDs to Republican colleagues, that contained the "Magic Negro" song.)

The whole episode causes me to ask myself, who's funnier, the liberals or the conservatives?

The liberals confidently declare that they are MUCH funnier than those stuffed-shirt conservatives. And they point to their celebrity champions, like John Stewart and Stephen Colbert. And of course, since they see themselves as much more tolerant than the conservatives, they dismiss the feeble comedic efforts by various conservative voices as being driven by racism, or hatred, or some other form of bigotry.

I'm not so sure.

Maybe I'm wrong, but liberals seem WAY less likely to laugh at themselves. Sure, they guffaw it up when the fun is being poked at George W. Bush (who's certainly not a FISCAL conservative, but he's no liberal, either!) or Sarah Palin or Charlton Heston or Proposition 8 supporters. But you better not make fun of them or their champions, or you're a racist bigoted hate-monger!

There is a small segment of the population whose self-determined mission in life is to be offended by everything. Their ranks are made up of mostly liberals, seems to me.

Most of us fall somewhere in between. Although I don't perceive George W. Bush as being a bumbling idiot, I certainly laugh at some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth! (Funny that the people who make fun of Bush-the-moron also seem to think the same guy is somehow a scheming manipulative evil genius.) Bubba Clinton was (and is!) a laugh-a-minute! Tina Fey's Palin impression is pretty impressive... but there's not enough material there to bring it back, week after week after week. (Perhaps if she had been elected VP, it would be different.) But I'm also a little anxious. Will we all be walking on pins and needles for at least the next 4 years, because we don't want to be branded racists if we laugh at Obama?

As Obama takes office, it will be interesting to see how the "mainest" of mainstream media - Leno and Letterman - handle him. So far, they seem to be treading pretty lightly.

I'm not much of a "broadcast media" follower; when I think about it, most of my news comes through "reading" sources. But here are some (non-expert!) personal opinions and observations on some people in the limelight:

John Stewart - I don't have cable and only see him very occasionally, but his material seems to be directed toward an audience with a superficial, "drive-by" comprehension of current events. Some of it's pretty funny; some of it not so much.

Stephen Colbert - ditto on not being very familiar with him, but when I've seen him, I always get the impression he's mostly playing to himself. And he thinks he's hilarious! (Obviously people must agree, or he'd be off the air.)

Dennis Miller seems to fancy himself as a conservative counterpoint to those guys. The few times I've seen him (typically as a guest on one of the late-night network shows), he comes across as pretty funny.

Rush Limbaugh - I used to listen to Rush all the time. And I think the guy's a comic genius! Much of his stuff is serious, but first and foremost Rush is an entertainer and he's the first to declare that. A lot of his material is hilarious... either intentionally or otherwise.

(Most of those conservative-leaning talkers, like O'Reilly and Sean Hannity and Glen Beck, don't seem to be TRYING to be funny most the time, from what little I hear of them. People who listen to them regularly might have a totally different viewpoint.)

The funniest conservative stuff I'm personally aware of is the Iowahawk - click HERE to link. (The guy is a Comedic Genius! I urge EVERYBODY to "favorite" it and check back at least weekly.)

Another website that is consistently funny is the "Blame Bush!" website - click HERE. (I'm not sure if it has a future, with that specific content. I say that by 10 years from now, everything will no longer be Bush's fault!)

(BE ADVISED... as with everything on the WorldWide Web, it's a wasteland of freedom of expression out there. Pretty much EVERYBODY is offended by something; both liberals and conservatives have widely-varying tolerance levels. There's a good chance that both of those sites have some content intended for mature audiences.)

Shoe Control NOW!

2008-12-16T11:44:00.007-07:00

A few years back, we raised our collective eyebrows when the Shoe Bomber was apprehended onboard a plane, trying to light the fuse on his shoe bombs. (Oh - and we also started removing our collective shoes at the airport, so the Homeland Security Shoe Bomb Detection Experts could more easily distinguish between standard shoes, and bomb shoes.)

But now - shoe missiles have emerged! It always starts in the powder-keg Middle East, but quickly spreads across the globe. Sure - we all can laugh when a Lame Duck President is the target (and deftly ducks)... but tomorrow the target of a crazed shoe terrorist might be your neighbor... or your child!!

Something must be done! The time for talk is over!

DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!!!

You can expect the powerful D.C. Shoe Lobby to resist.

You will notice that almost all 435 members of Congress wear shoes (with the possible exception of the distinguished gentlemen from Mississippi and Arkansas). They've sold out to Big Shoe.

But some common-sense laws must be passed, to keep dangerous shoes out of the hands of, and off the feet of, criminals.

A good start might be:
- Ban shoes in public schools and other public places (National Parks, maybe?)
- Nationwide shoe registration.
- Close the shoe-show loop. (Many shoe criminals confess that they got their shoes at shoe shows.)
- Perhaps a ban on sinister-looking black shoes. There is no legitimate use for high-capacity black shoes in our society, when benign brown shoes will adequately do the same job.

We can expect resistance, both from the NSA (National Shoe Association) and common ordinary ignorant rednecks... the ones with bumper sticker slogans like:
"The West wasn't won with registered boots."
"You can have my shoes when you pry them off my cold, dead toes."
"This Pickup Protected by Buster Brown."
But our fight is right! We must prevail!

Last of all - do NOT give your children shoes for Christmas! What a negative message that would send!

Wild-eyed Iraqi housewife displays the Shoe-Scud.

President Obama

2008-11-05T09:32:00.006-07:00

Some thoughts about our newly elected president.

I didn't vote for him. His "change we can believe in" seems to be one of expanded government, and I'm firmly in the "small government is good government" camp. But I can certainly understand his appeal, and frankly, I wasn't very enthusiastic about the prospect of a McCain presidency, either.

Did race play a factor in the election?

Absolutely!

Blacks voted 90% for Obama, and Hispanics even higher, apparently. Of course, that wouldn't have won the election for him. A majority of white Americans voted for him as well. I'm sure a percentage of those votes were specifically because Obama is African-American. (A parallel might be former Governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts. I bet he got a lot of votes from people who voted for the "Mormon" just because he is a Mormon, and they're openly tolerant of that.)

Is it cool that we'll have a black man for president?

IMO, it's FANTASTIC! (I just wish he shared my "conservative" vision.)

It is a huge step toward the realization of the "dream" so eloquently voiced by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., more than 40 years ago.

Rightly or wrongly, America moved up several notches in how the world views us, literally overnight.

Also - and I hope this doesn't sound racist but - IMO, young black men haven't had a huge selection of positive role models. Obama fills that bill nicely. A young, successful, smart, articulate, family-oriented black man. And now he's the leader of the Free World! (I don't think professional athletes, celebrities, musicians and gangsters are often good role models, no matter what color they are.)

Here's a question... why did Obama want to be president? Boy howdy, he sure inherited a mess! He's got his work cut out for him just fixing what's broken, let alone adding new services. There may be a heavy burden for the most wealthy 5% of Americans, and of course, Joe the Plumber. (Remember - Obama said out of his own mouth that 95% of us would NOT see a tax increase. I'm going to hold him to that.)

In his victory speech, Obama promised to be president for all Americans, not just those who share his vision and voted for him.

I hope he leads this country in a direction that's pleasing to God. (If you don't share my faith, this will seem like superstitious hokum, but I don't think we can expect God to watch out for us, if we turn our back on Him.)

I wish Obama total success, and will be praying for him.

Time will tell. Like the man said on the radio this morning, "America wanted to throw the bums out. But if Obama oversteps, he could be tomorrow's bum."

In the meantime, to all the naysayers and finger-waggers, I say, shut up and let the man work for awhile! I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Start yellin' if you don't like the way he's working.

I also say, God bless America and President Obama! Please!

$ for Idaho Roads

2008-10-16T15:16:00.009-06:00

(Hat tip to the Boise Guardian, for posting a condensed version of this for his large and smart audience. Thanks, Dave!)

Idaho's roads are in some serious need of serious road work.

The Idaho Transportation Department estimates that it would cost an additional $250 million per year, just to maintain the status quo. Of course, to bring things into "ship shape" would cost in the billions... we're almost talking CONGRESSIONAL dollar figures! (Boy howdy! Can those kids spend taxpayer dollars?!!)

Many of us are skeptical. We tend to have a myopic viewpoint. (For you non-library types, that's "nearsighted.") "Aw, c'mon! The roads aren't so bad! I drive on the Connecter and 13th Street every day, and there's hardly even a pothole!" To us, the roads look fine... until a bridge falls into the river, like happened back there in Minnesota.

Enter Governor C. L. "Butch" Otter.

(Remember Congressman Butch Otter? The fearless, libertarian-leaning advocate of the downtrodden taxpayer? Heir apparent to Steve "take a bite out of government" Symms? Amazingly, it's the very same guy. Only nowadays, he's busy at work trying to find more money for his beloved state government.)

Governor Otter wants $250 million more, per year, for roads. And when he looks at the hardworking, roadway-using citizens, he sees dollar signs and hears "ka-ching! ka-ching!"

Simply put, he's trying to figure out some way to get more dollars out of those taxpayers' bank accounts, and into the ITD bank account.

(Meanwhile, most of us are powerlessly watching those bank accounts dry up, as the fruits of our lives' work go swirling into the Wall Street sewer grate. But that's a whole 'nother subject.)

The first idea Governor Otter floated (during the '08 Legislative session) was of drastically increasing vehicle registration fees. The reception was lukewarm... about the temperature of liquid nitrogen, as I recall.

Now he's talking about a "mileage tax." It would be simple. Read the odometer each time the car is registered, and collect dollars based on miles-driven since last time.

He's obviously thinking anything is better than raising the fuel tax!

Let's take a look at the options.

Now you're sayin', "What do you know? You're a bikeboy!"

Granted, most of my local transportation is atop my trusty 2-wheeler. But consider... perhaps that gives me a more objective viepoint than Citizen Motorist, or even Butch! (Obviously, I expect somebody to poke holes in my observations. I'm just throwin' 'em out for people to chew on.)

REGISTRATION FEE

A substantially-increased, revenue-enhancing registration fee sounds fair, doesn't it? (A variation would be a fee based on the weight of the vehicle - after all, a 6000-pound Hummer is gonna bust up the roads way more than that 1900-pound Geo Metro. My Senator - Werk - likes that idea.)

But wait! Not so fast!

If that 1900-pound Geo Metro is driven 20,000 miles a year on Idaho roads, and the Hummer is driven 200 ... who's bustin' up the roads now?

Here's a more commonplace scenario.

Beavis has a 1992 Ford F-150. He drives it back and forth between his house in Kuna and his job in east Boise - puts 20,000 miles on it in a year.

Next door lives - you guessed it - Butthead. He has a pickup just like his neighbor's, only with some sweet rims he got at Les Schwab. And, he puts 2000 miles a year on it, doing a couple dump-runs and a few fishing and hunting trips. (He's got a more "sensible" vehicle that he drives to work in... and pays registration on.)

Just to make the math easy, let's say Butch charges 'em $200/year to register that truck.

Turns out Beavis would be paying one cent per mile, and Butthead ten cents, for the privilege of being registered. (Butthead isn't gonna like this!)

Also, it should be noted that the "foreigners" who visit Idaho from California and other places, are not sharing in the registration-fee revenue scenario.

ODOMETER

This seems a little more fair for Beavis and Butthead, huh? If Butch collects five cents per mile, Beavis pays $1000 (ouch!) and Butthead pays $100. (Beavis isn't gonna like this!)

On the surface, it seems more fair than the flat-registration fee. At least it's kinda sorta based on the amount of wear-and-tear the taxpayer is inflicting on the roads.

But... how about the guy who lives in Post Falls but does 90% of his driving in Washington? Should he pay the five cents, too?

Can of worms!

A variation that's being tested next door in Oregon is a GPS-based scheme. A GPS receiver installed in the car keeps track of miles driven.

[If you're asking, "What's GPS"? Here's a quick primer. GPS stands for "global positioning system." There are satellites up there in space, beaming signals back to the earth. A receiver that's mounted in a vehicle, or boat, or missile, or even hand-held, can receive those signals and calculate the exact spot where you're standing, or driving, or flying, what direction you're going and how fast, etc.]

Shades of "Big Brother," huh? That's why most people don't like it - in these parts, we don't like the government keeping such close track of us.

But get used to the notion... long-term, I bet we'll see more of this. If you wanted to get sophisticated, you could keep track of the miles driven in Idaho, and outside the state boundaries. You could even get fancier. For example, you might charge people 10 cents per mile if they're contributing to the I-84 rush-hour traffic jam, but only 5 cents per mile in the off-hours, or if they're driving down Franklin Road. Heck! You could even penalize people who are exceeding the speed limit, by taxing them more! (I'm not saying any of this is good or bad... just describing possible scenarios.)

A mileage-based tax would encourage an underground industry that specializes in odometer tweakage, GPS file hacking, etc. I'm just sayin'. And like the registration fee, a per-mile tax would exclude the despised Californians. And the tolerated Oregonians, Utahns, etc. (Tourism is a growing and desirable industry. I don't know what share of the roadbuilding and upkeep fees should be shared with our tourists... but it should be part of the discussion.)

FUEL TAX

Nobody (except maybe for the followers of Pope Algore) wants to see higher gas prices. It would be a brave politician indeed, who would advocate for 20 cents more per gallon, when gas is already four bucks.

But compared with the plans that Butch has proposed so far, it seems more equitable.
- The guy in the Hummer will pay more per mile, than the guy in the Geo Metro.
- The guy who drives 20,000 miles will pay more than the guy who drives 2000 miles.
- We also include the tourists, at least the tourists who are driving (and thus putting wear and tear on our roads).

Plus, it's easily collected.

Opponents point out that as people drive more fuel-efficient vehicles, revenues will drop.

What's the alternative? Should gas misers be punished, or taxed at a higher rate than gas guzzlers? As a general rule, the better fuel mileage a car gets, the less wear-and-tear it's likely to put on the road, because of lighter weight. (There are exceptions, and will be more if we evolve towards non-internal-combustion vehicles, etc. And maybe a new revenue method needs to be implemented for non-traditional vehicles... I don't know.)

Another consideration is border areas. Gas merchants who are just barely in Idaho could suffer, if the guys two blocks away in Oregon or Washington are selling gas for 20 cents less. (But those Oregon and Washington guys are more likely to raise their prices by 15 cents, and pad their own pockets a little more.)

There is not, and never will be, a revenue-collecting method that's fair for everybody. There are disadvantages to any of 'em. But if we need a big influx of cash... from this observer's viewpoint, as unpalatable as it may be, the gas tax seems like the most fair and easy way to collect from the actual roadway users. Substantially more so than either a registration tax or an odometer tax. And the Libertarians should take Butch's membership card away for even suggesting those other ideas!

Vote: NONE OF THE ABOVE!

2008-10-15T10:40:00.003-06:00

1964 was the first election that I can remember much about. '64 was the year when Democrat Lyndon B. Johnson went up against Republican Barry Goldwater. I remember it mostly because my parents were strongly in favor of Goldwater. (Johnson won handily, of course, and the rest is history. Or "Great Society," as Johnson liked to call it.)

(I remember earlier presidents. Eisenhower came to Boise and I saw him as a young kid, at a rally at the "BJC Gymnasium," which was the biggest venue in town at the time. And of course I remember Kennedy - I remember the "Cuban Missile Crisis," and vividly recall the fateful day that ended his presidency.)

Back in '64, the line between the two parties was more clearly drawn, IMO.

The Democrats were proponents of social (government) programs to attack society's woes, like poverty, illiteracy, etc. The Republicans were more of the philosophy of "keep government out of the way, and let people govern themselves."

When I was an idealistic youth, the notion of the government taking care of society's problems had a lot of appeal. But as I have matured - maybe it was parental influence, or maybe just pragmatism - my viewpoint has evolved to become solidly "small government is good government."

I've spent a lifetime observing that government "solutions" are almost always at best inefficient, and at worst colossal disasters.

Look at Social Security, for example. What a great notion! A government program that will provide a lifetime of income to its retired citizens, paid for by the next generation. I've got a huge stake in Social Security. Between myself and my employers, we've contributed over $130,000, that would otherwise have been in my paychecks. (And maybe in my self-managed private retirement account, along with interest.) So... it's in a government account instead... right? Heck NO! It's gone into the giant government bucket and gets spent as quickly as it goes in. Along with billions that are borrowed. The other shoe just hasn't dropped yet.

So you'd think I'd be solidly Republican, huh?

Not necessarily so.

The parties have evolved, too. Or at least the politicians of those parties. The lines have been blurred.

Look at 2008.

In this corner, we have Democrat Barack Obama. He's making a lot of promises - "change we can believe in." His whole life seems to have been evolving toward a philosophy that government can - and should - be addressing most of the problems we're having, or might have.

Of course, social programs cost money. Obama doesn't talk much about money in his awesome, eloquent speeches. But when he does, he talks about taking more from those in the highest income brackets, and from corporations, etc. (Which should appeal to us poor folks, huh? We'll get more from government, while not paying any more.)

That's pretty much the Democratic Party Line.

How about the other guy?

Republican John McCain has always fancied himself the "maverick." The guy who will cross over the blurred party lines when it suits him. The man who isn't afraid to align himself with the Democrats, to get things done.

What's John McCain's philosophy? I really don't know. All I know is, it's not necessarily the "Republican platform," or the "Democrat platform."

Although he's been a career politician, he isn't distinguished as a fiscal conservative. He's voted for plenty of new social programs and increased spending over the years. He loves pork as much as the next guy. And he's currently advocating additional government solutions to the current-events problems we're facing, more regulations (more government oversight), etc., etc.

And how will McCain pay for it?

He doesn't talk much about money, either. But when he does... he promises a tax CUT! (In theory, that would stimulate the economy, resulting in more revenue for government, in the long run. In the meantime, we'll just borrow more money!)

The Hallowed Halls of Government are packed with politicians - both Democrat and Republican - who love Big Government, and are doing everything they can to expand it.

No matter who we vote for - McCain or Obama - Happy Days are Here Again! (If we believe what they're telling us.)

How about the "social issues"?

I think we can all agree the two "biggies" are abortion and guns.

There seems to be some space between the two candidates. Although oddly, neither seems eager to discuss their differences. (And they haven't come up in the debates, at least so far.) Perhaps they are afraid that if they come across as ideologues on those issues, it will turn off some of their voters.

Obama seems to lean pro-abortion, anti-gun. McCain seems to lean anti-abortion, pro-gun.

And maybe that's enough. But I wish they had the courage to declare forcefully their beliefs.

Are these the best two guys we've got? Frankly, it doesn't give me a lot of confidence. I pray for this great country, no matter who is our next president. And it will be one of these two guys.

Why can't we vote NONE OF THE ABOVE, and have a do-over?

I'm seriously leaning toward voting "none of the above" by voting for Bob Barr, the Libertarian candidate.

My own philosophy leans Libertarian (although certainly not "party line"), and I've voted for Libertarians several times in the past. Where it differs, it mostly aligns with Bob Barr. (And unless I'm running for President myself, I will NOT find somebody I'm in total agreement with.)

"Why would you throw away your vote?" you might ask.

Which is better, throwing a vote away, or voting for a guy you don't like, for the job? (Or casting a vote against the guy you don't like even more?)

The Demicans and Republocrats have had 232 years to get it right. Maybe it's time to look at an alternative.

Food Crisis?

2008-04-25T11:24:00.008-06:00

A "global food crisis" is upon us.

If you go to the grocery store - as my bride does frequently - you've no doubt noticed.

The cost of food is going up significantly faster than inflation. In fact, so much so that food is currently a sound investment, besides being one of life's necessities. An editorial was published in the April 21, 2008 Wall Street Journal. Author Brett Arends says, "I don't want to alarm anybody, but maybe it's time for Americans to start stockpiling food. ... Reality: Food prices are already rising here much faster than the returns you are likely to get from keeping your money in a bank or money-market fund." (The editorial can be read HERE.)

Stockpiling food? Who ever heard of such a thing?!

Will the increases in food prices be sustained? Hard to say... a lot of factors are contributing to it, including: 1) diversion of what would otherwise be food for bio-fuel, 2) escalating transportation expenses, 3) prosperity in countries that have traditionally been poverty-stricken, resulting in worldwide demand for good food. (Ya can't blame those Chinese people for wanting something to go with their rice!)

Combine those factors with the climate that seems to be growing increasingly unstable, and indeed it seems very prudent to have at least some food stored away.

Is all of this surprising?

It may be if you haven't been paying attention.

In my case, as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I'm not surprised at all.

My church leaders have been encouraging me and my fellow saints to "store in your own basements and in your own private storehouses and granaries sufficient for a year’s supply." That advice was given in 1937 - more than 70 years ago - and has been repeated regularly since then. (More info HERE.)

Of course, thousands of years earlier, Christians were told by the Apostle Timothy, "If any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."

My parents set a good example for me as a child. They took our prophet's advice very seriously. We had a "fruit room" in that basement, its shelves stocked with canned goods. Mom joined the effort - she dutifully canned fruit. Dad also had some long-term freeze-dried food, etc. - the stuff that you don't need to rotate because it has a 20-year shelf life, but would sure be nice to have as an alternative to starvation.

(My childhood coincided with the "Cold War," when there was a movement afoot to prepare, at least in a small way, for a nuclear strike. Dad added onto our basement, specifying concrete walls that were several feet thick.)

We are trying to do the year's supply thing. (It's still a goal... not a reality. But we've made progress lately.)

It's not easy.

One of the main challenges is storage space. I bought 500 pounds of flour a few months back... do you know how much space it takes? A 5-gallon plastic bucket holds about 25 pounds of flour... so figure 20 of those buckets. And you can't just store it anywhere. Attics and garages are TERRIBLE! Food that is stored in temperatures much above "room" temperature will lose their nutritional quality, and spoil, much more quickly.

Another challenge is that of rotating. Most non-canned food has a shelf life anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. (And canned food doesn't last forever, either.) Somehow it's easier to just grab a bag of flour or sugar at the store, than to pop open that storage bucket and then replace its contents when it's empty.

I'm trying to catalog our food storage inventory in an Excel spreadsheet, so we can pay attention and get stuff used up as the expiration date approaches.

(We've also enjoyed some success in growing food in a garden. There's a good deal of satisfaction to be had in taking a crop of tomatoes and beets and cucumbers and peppers from bare ground in the springtime, to bottles on the pantry shelf a few months later.)

As far as I can tell, there's really no "down side" to having some food in storage. Unless it spoils and you have to throw it out. But that can be easily avoided with a little effort.

Ask yourself: "If the shelves at the grocery store were empty for whatever reason, and if transportation were cut off for whatever reason, how long would my current food supply last?"

One of life's lessons is... you need to prepare for a crisis BEFORE it happens. Once you are mid-crisis, it's too late to prepare. "Be prepared." (Golly - somebody oughtta use that for a motto, or something.)

For anyone interested, much more information about storing a supply of food can be found HERE.

Political Elton

2008-04-10T15:43:00.003-06:00

So, who looks better in a fashionable black pantsuit, Hillary or Sir Elton?

Also... you may remember that back in '92, Fleetwood Mac played at Bubba's Inaugural Ball, making "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow" the de-facto theme song of the first Clinton administration.

Is there any truth to the rumor that if Hillary is elected, Elton will perform at the next Inaugural Ball, and play his little ditty, "The B*tch is Back"???

(nudge-nudge, wink-wink)

Tabloid "Journalism"?

2008-03-20T09:10:00.004-06:00

If you're like me, you lamented the demise of Weekly World News, which ceased publication a few months ago. "WWN" "The World's Only Reliable Newspaper" - claimed to print the stories that everybody else was afraid to print. It could be found in the grocery store checkout line - usually with a story about Bat Boy (half-boy, half-bat), or about aliens visiting the White House.

We even got a subscription for a year. (We dropped it - the news was just too scary! I always enjoyed Ed Anger's column. Ed is one ANGRY guy!)

Maybe I was premature... looks like they may be continuing with their online version - click HERE to link to it. (Or maybe they're just recycling old stories.)

Current stories:
- Democrats Plant Sexy Intern to Seduce Bush
- Alien Bible Translated (Apparently Oprah is somehow involved...)
- Study Shows Republicans Are Ketchup Freaks
- The Man in the Moon is a Peeping Tom!
- Secret Fat Farms Discovered By Feds

But even if the WWN was gone forever, Fox News (online) is a pretty adequate replacement.

You know Fox News... "Fair and Balanced." "We report, you decide."

Being a current events junkie, I check FoxNews.com 2 or 3 times a day for "real" news, and I feel that indeed, they try to be fair and balanced.

But mixed in with significant news, they seem to have a LARGE amount of "tabloid" type news. They're probably just responding to what their audience wants.

Here are some headlines - not at the "weird news" page or anything, just at the main news page - that I've accumulated over the last 2 or 3 weeks. You decide:
- Cops: Man Kills Motorcyclist Following Daughters
- 'Devil-Worship' Rapist Attacks Fiancee on Prison Leave
- Confession From the Grave May Solve 1970 Murder
- Blind Man Sees After Son's Tooth Implanted in His Eye
- Newborn Falls Through Train Toilet Onto Tracks
- Twin Gay Porn Actors Suspected in Burglaries
- Boy, 10, Suffering From Deadly Childhood Alzheimer's
- Millionaire Tried to Kill Unborn Baby With Abortion Pills
- New Baby Nearly Same Size as Mother
- Chef Accused of Putting Hair in Steak After Complaint
- Nurse's Aide Accused of Abusing, Urinating on Patients
- Deadly Poison Found at Sin City Motel
- Mom Arrested After Baby Born With Pot in System
- Teacher Allegedly Sends Boy Topless Pictures
- Grocery Stocker Found Guilty in Cannibalistic Plot Case
- Teen Crawls for Help After Train Cuts Off Leg
- Son: I Killed Dad for MySpace Time
- Syrian Man Decapitates Child in Market
- 'Death Star' Gamma-Ray Gun Pointed Straight at Earth
- 'Danny Boy' Banned in New York Pub for Month of March
- Dad Who Burned Kids in Dryer Wanted a 'Good Time'
- Woman Pried Off Toilet Seat She Sat on for 2 Years
- Woman Kills Husband Who Turned Off Her Springsteen
- Mystery: Woman's Body Kept on Ice at Hotel for a Year?
- Judge Allows Wife to Annul Marriage Over Female Hubby
- Girl Born with Two Faces in Northern India
- Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead
- Man Gunned Down in Driveway by Killer Robot

Or... maybe the world has just gone crazy, and has finally caught up to Weekly World News!

Smog Police - Making a Difference?

2008-03-06T13:22:00.006-07:00

The State Legislature is grappling with House Bill 586. What it would do is authorize the State Air Quality people to require vehicle emission testing anywhere in the state that has at-risk air quality.

The real agenda is to require Canyon County to test their vehicles, just like Ada County.

At first glance, it seems like a no-brainer. Especially if you listen to the road reports as the Canyon County hoardes descend into Boise in the morning, and return home in the evening. After all, they, too, are contributing in a meaningful way to Boise's significant air pollution problem.

Glory be! Clear sunny days are just around the corner!

But wait.

Let's look at Ada County's vehicle emissions inspection program, before we foist it on our neighbors in Canyon County. (Even if they deserve to share in the misery.)

First of all - well over 90% of Ada County cars pass the first time. So, for those people, the inspection and fee are nothing but another hassle and another expense, with absolutely no other benefit. (Unless you consider the testing/bureaucracy "industry" a benefit. It would be nice to see those folks doing something productive, though... wouldn't it?)

For the few percent of cars that don't pass the first time...

The inspectors know lots of tricks that'll make the car pass the test. Like setting the idle screw faster, or taking off the air cleaner. They do their temporary tweaks. They redo the test - the car passes. They undo the tweaks, making the car once again non-compliant. And everybody goes away happy. (Is that somehow improving our air quality?)

If the car still doesn't pass, the owner is required to spend up to $200, to make the car compliant. And I love this part... if the car still doesn't pass after the $200 is spent, "you may qualify for a waiver of this year’s requirement to pass the test." (http://www.emissiontest.org) Smogmobile drives in... smogmobile drives out, for another year.

So... explain to me again how the vehicle testing program, as currently administered, improves air quality. Or how expanding it to Canyon County will improve air quality.

Let's say there are 250,000 vehicles motoring about in Treasure Valley, on a given day. Furthermore, just to make the math easy, let's say 25,000 of them (10%) are spewing out too much smog... but would still be spewing it after the test. (Based on the real-world scenarios I described previously.)

Our air quality problem is largely being caused by all 250,000 vehicles! The cars that pass, still contribute to the total! As do the cars that don't pass, but drive on anyway! Just because you've paid your $20 at the testing station hasn't changed the air in any way! Hello!

I say NO to House Bill 586. Not because I'm not concerned about air quality - the opposite is true! (I live in Boise and I ride a bicycle, all year 'round, even on the yellow and orange days.) I say NO because HB586 is nothing more than Window Dressing, and expansion of the bureaucracy. I'm amazed that somebody has to explain this to the Legislature.

Help Larry Fight Back!

2008-02-29T10:04:00.005-07:00

The Esteemed Gentleman from Idaho, Senator Larry Craig, has had his reputation besmirched by publicity-hungry cops at the Minneapolis Airport, that homophobic Dan Popkey guy, and by a string of homosexuals, going back 20 or 30 years.

Larry Craig is not gay! Fer cryin' out loud! He's from Midvale, Idaho! A guy from Midvale likes huntin', and fishin', and cuttin' down big trees! Larry drives a pick-up truck... not a Mazda Miata! Gays come from places like San Francisco and Miami!

It's time to help Larry right the wrong!

If you live in Idaho or Washington, D.C., or if you visit mens' restrooms in airports in between, PLEASE help us put up these informative posters, to set the record straight.

(Click HERE to download the PDF poster.)

PRINT IT OFF! PUT IT UP! DO IT FOR AMERICA!

Agreement

2008-02-06T09:27:00.000-07:00

Us Idaho folks are an independent lot. We rarely agree on anything. Especially when it comes to stuff like politics and religion... we bicker like schoolyard kids.

So, a recent development is especially refreshing.

The Republicans don't like Hillary. (For those of you who don't follow politics too closely, that's Mrs. Bill Clinton. Remember Bubba?)

I've heard it said she's a "polarizing" figure... love her or hate her.

Personally, I feel she might be a charming, nice person in a one-on-one setting. I've not seen any evidence of that, but I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. If offered a chance to go to lunch with her - even at Bubba's favorite place, McDonald's - I'd politely decline. I KNOW I don't care for her politics.

But, I digress... back to the refreshing development.

Apparently Idaho's Democrats don't like Hillary, either.

In yesterday's Democratic Caucus, Obama got 80% of the votes; Hillary got 17%.

I've got renewed respect for Idaho's Democrats! (That, plus my disdain for Idaho Republicans in general, makes me solidly independent, I s'pose. But I agree with ALL of them on Hillary!)

Hillary, watching the Idaho Caucus results coming in...

The Perfect Valentine's Day Gift

2008-02-05T22:34:00.000-07:00

There's an outfit called the International Star Registry (website here) that runs ads on the radio. They tell you that for $54 or so, they'll name a star after you or whoever.

That's all fine and dandy... but they don't tell you a couple details:
1) Nobody recognizes their names, except for you and them, and
2) Real astronomers have already named pretty much every star you can see.

Well, I've got a BETTER option!

Introducing...
INTERGALACTIC STAR REGISTRY!

For $44 (less than the other guys), I will name a star after whoever you want me to. But it won't be some obscure, lame star in the Milky Way.

We're starting with M31 - the Andromeda Galaxy. It's about 200,000 light years away, and invisible to the naked eye. But, believe me, it's an AWESOME galaxy!

And check it out - only two stars have been named so far. If you hurry, you could get that blue one, in the upper right-hand corner. Or, for $100, we'll name that really bright part, right in the middle, after YOUR loved one! You'll even get a certificate saying so!

Don't delay - if somebody else gets here first, you'd hate to spend the rest of your life kicking yourself, huh?

Satellite Panic!

2008-01-30T14:36:00.000-07:00

Just in case you've been in your Tora-Bora cave for the last few weeks, or hibernating... I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we're doomed! In a month or so, a satellite will crash back to the Earth's surface. Be afraid. Be very afraid! I know I am...

According to an online article, it's a spy satellite known only as "US 193." "It was launched in December 2006 but almost immediately lost power and cannot be controlled. It carried a sophisticated and secret imaging sensor but the satellite's central computer failed shortly after launch."

It's pretty big - and could hit North America in late February or early March!

Oh, the humanity!

Since I don't know much about satellites and stuff, I thought I'd get some advice from an "insider." My friend - my rocket-scientist friend - works for an aerospace company in the Bay Area. He does "sensitive" satellite-guidance stuff; that's all I know. (Besides, if I told you more, he'd have to kill me.) I'll call him "Billy."

I sent an email to "Billy":

Hi, Billy.

Is "US 193," the satellite that will hurtle back to earth in a month or so, one of YOUR babies?

Let me tell you this, my friend. I just did some work on my furnace and it is working perfectly! So if your satellite hits my house, I'm gonna be PLENTY ticked-off!!!

Since you're an expert, I'm asking... should I buy the supplemental satellite-collision insurance rider for my homeowners?

(If it crashes into my house, OR if it crashes at the park across the street and I'm the first one to get to it... eBay!!!)

He sent me this reply; I share it with you for the good of mankind:

Hi (name withheld)!

I know "US 193," but I can not talk about "US 193". They are predicting impact in North America. As time gets closer, they will be able to better predict re-entry. This far out, time wise, it is tough to model. It is large enough that some parts will make it to the ground.

Here is what you will need to do. For the next month, you and your family should be wearing hard-hats 24/7. Please remove all seat cushions from your couch and pillows from your beds. Attach these to the top of your automobiles. While riding your bike, do not listen to your Ipod. You need to listen for the whistle of 'incoming' objects.

As far as your house goes... it will be like shooting out your light switch with a .44mag (as you have done) times 100. Good luck with that insurance rider. That furnance will come in handy in heating your home with no roof.

The parts would fetch a good price on eBay....just don't sell them to foreign nationals. That would violate ITAR regulations!

I hope I was able to help you with your satellite survival guide ... keep watch on the sky.

I wrote back:

If I recover it, maybe I'll just hang onto it.

Could you Xerox me a copy of the repair manual? And are the parts available at Radio Shack?

"Billy" replied:

Radio Shack??? We get our parts from the electronic flea market in downtown Sunnyvale.

On a serious side note, a vendor of ours maintains some special test equipment that I need to test a box I am responsible for. The harddrive controller went bad and the only replacement that would work was a controller taken out of an Atari purchased at a pawn shop for $30. Now that is pure rocket science and should give you every confidence in our space program. Do you have the pillows on your car yet?

I wrote back:

That's pretty good! Any computer-type engineer worth his salt has to have a little "hacker" in his blood.

I'm still working on my tinfoil hat! (Don't want to get "radiated," you know.) When I get done with that, duct-tape and sofa cushions!!

Yeah, I'm worried. But at least this is a distraction from doing my income taxes. I'm gonna wait 'til after the satellite hits ground; if it lands on me, FORGET THE FORM 1040 THIS YEAR!

Baby Mac

2008-01-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

My granddaughter, Mackenzie, is 1 year old today.

(Photo was taken on Thanksgiving Day.)

I can hardly wait 'til tomorrow, because she gets cuter every day!

(Click on the photo for a larger size - printable, and suitable for framing!)
(-;

"Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays"

2007-12-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's become a holiday tradition. Every year it surfaces - the outrage when either greeting is chosen.

The "separation of church and state" crowd reacts indignantly when "Merry Christmas" is used. How offensive! How insensitive to the non-Christians in our society!

And the "Christmas celebration purists" are outraged when people, fearing the indignant reaction of the separation faction, choose to use "Happy Holidays" instead.

I s'pose everybody needs something to get all worked up over. In the immortal words of 20th-century statesman and philosopher Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?"

Let's study for a moment, these sources of such offense, and the people who get so offended.

First we've got the Church/State Gatekeepers. They, of course are the ones who make sure we're all protected from offensive manger scenes on public property, singing of Christmas carols in our public schools, etc. I even heard that Santa Claus was banned from one school district this year. After all, argued a patron of the district, Santa is "Saint Nick," and therefore might conjure up offensive religious sentiments.

Can Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph be far behind?

But - how about the other side in this divisive issue?

You put up your decorations - and they by-golly have to be superior to the Joneses, up the street. You don't want people to think they are more religious than you are!

You gather the wish-lists from your people - at least, the cooperative ones.

My bride is not cooperative. She said she just wants "peace in all the earth." Yeah, right! Who would want something like that for Christmas?!!

Then you endure the nonstop barrage of "Christmas" oriented TV commercials, newspaper advertising, etc., etc.

Disgusting! Christmas, indeed! Surely "Happy Holidays" is much more appropriate, since associating any of the merchandising with the birth of Christ is a huge stretch... no?

(My least favorite are the jewelry ads with the little "Christmas morning dramas" depicting clever ways of giving jewelry, and how speechlessly delighted the Missus will be when she is presented with the spendy little box.)

Then you go to the Wal-Mart (or to the Mall at 1am on "Black Friday" morning), and spend a couple hours getting jostled by frenzied shoppers, discovering the stuff you wanted is already sold out, and standing in long checkout lines.

At this point, you're really filled with that "peace on earth, good will toward men" spirit, right? And then a bedreggled clerk bursts the bubble by saying, "Happy holidays," instead of the requisite "Merry Christmas." And that is what ruins it for you? Oh, the humanity!

From an historical standpoint, "Happy Holidays" is probably more accurate. After all, there were various pagan holidays long before calendars, coinciding with the Winter Solstice. Even the most skeptical scientific mind recognizes that the days start getting longer following the Winter Solstice, promising a season of warming and renewal. The Christians decided to celebrate their most significant holiday in conjunction with everybody else's big day.

And besides, NOWHERE in scripture does it say that Jesus was born on December 25th. In fact, Jesus was born in April. That's the time of year when you could've found shepherds keeping their flocks in the fields - not mid-winter. And besides... Joseph went to Bethlehem to be taxed, and everybody knows that Tax Day is April 15th!
(-;

So - are you a "Merry Christmas" person, or a "Happy Holidays" person, or both?

There are interesting ways of dealing with the conflicting emotions and sentiments of the season.

Some folks try to ignore the whole thing.

The classic example is Frank Costanza, the genius behind the "Festivus" celebration.

In case you're not a Seinfeld fan, Festivus is the holiday "for the rest of us." Festivus is celebrated as follows:
1) Putting up the Festivus Pole. (It's a plain brushed aluminum tube, maybe 2 inches in diameter. No decorating!)
2) The Airing of Grievances
3) Feats of Strength

No fuss, no muss!

(Much more about Festivus, including greeting cards and an "Airing of Grievances Worksheet," can be found here. And Festivus was actually conceived by Dan O'Keefe, whose son was a writer on "Seinfeld," and incorporated it into that immortal script. More info here.)

Others try to meld "Happy Holidays" with "Merry Christmas."

Several years back, an acquaintance of ours found a little graven image of Santa, kneeling at the manger in which lay the baby Jesus. She was enthralled. She said, "Now, this is what Christmas is really all about!"

Yep - Santa visiting baby Jesus is one of my favorite New Testament stories, too! But I always get confused. I know the shepherds arrived first. But who was next, the Wise Men or Santa? (It's not in the most well-known telling, by Luke. But it must be in there someplace, huh?)

Here's what works for me. I try to detach my "Happy Holidays" from my "Merry Christmas" and enjoy them both separately, and not get offended when somebody else is trying to share theirs with me.

The "Happy Holidays" is the decorations, the tree, the holiday singing, the delicious treats, the party attire, the gift giving and getting. (I decorated by bike for Happy Holidays again this year - click here.) Nothing wrong with ANY of that, as long as you don't get carried away, and have to spend a year or more digging out of debt.

The "Christmas" is that simple but profound story of the Savior of Mankind, who was born into such humble circumstances in Bethlehem of Judea.

(I happened across this Christmas decoration, as I was bicycling a couple days back. It's a snow-covered bench along the Greenbelt, with a message someone had scrawled in the snow. Somehow, I thought it quite fitting for a Christmas celebration, as opposed to Happy Holidays. And nobody will have to put it away and store it for next year.)

(Click on the photo for a larger view.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE! AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Boise City Elections - Who to Vote For

2007-11-02T17:14:00.000-06:00

Vote for the candidates who have your confidence... those who will work to make our city what YOU want it to be.

I'll tell you who I'm voting for, and why.

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MAYOR - Jim Tibbs

I once heard Jim Tibbs describe a philosophy held by the Native Americans - that decisions should be based on how they will affect people seven generations from now.

I wish he'd talk about that more. It's that kind of thoughtfulness that we need in our local leaders, who shape the future of our community.

Dave Bieter, like me, is a "native son." I voted for him four years ago. He gave me confidence that he would have the old-timer's perspective as he operated the mayor's office. That he would be very protective of what little "small town" feel this city still had. (And is quickly dwindling away, in this observer's opinion.)

Frankly, I've been very disappointed.

Does Boise have a "master plan"? You wouldn't think so, based on how a lot of the business is conducted. It seems like there's a revolving door for the developers to get their variances and permits and get to buildin'!

Granted - the mayor's influence is limited. But he should have a lot more influence than I do, and I have seen nothing - or at least very little - to suggest that Bieter's "vision" for Boise is similar to my own.

Is your vision of the perfect community one of sprawling growth? L.A. Junior? Some like to use the word "vibrancy." Unfortunately, every year that passes, Boise is a little less like the community I grew up in, and loved.

Perhaps a more fair and valid question is - is Boise a better place now, than it was four years ago when Bieter got the mayor gig? I can't think of one thing that I like better about Boise now, than four years ago. I can think of lots of things that seem to have gotten worse.

Maybe growth is inevitable. (I've got mixed emotions about development. On the one hand... property owners should be able to maximize the potential of their property. But on the other hand... there's no denying that there is "spill-over" from thousands of new houses, that affects every one of us. More traffic and pollution. More crime. More graffiti and vandalism. More demand for limited natural resources - power, water, etc. Because of that, we all should have a voice in how much growth there is, and what kind of growth. Is the current mayor your best "voice"?)

Jim Tibbs doesn't give me total confidence, unfortunately. He got an endorsement from the Building Contractors of Idaho. I doubt they envision his putting his thumb down on growth. But I've known Jim for 15 years - he's my neighbor. And I've always gotten the impression that he's thoughtful, and approachable, and doesn't think he has all the answers. He's also lived in Boise for 50 years, so he has that "old timer" perspective - I hope he wins, and that he decides things based on how those decisions will affect people seven generations from now. (If he wins, and nothing changes, and Boise has 20,000 more voters come 2011, I'll likely be voting for somebody else in 4 years!)

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COUNCILMAN - Steve Kimball

He's running against Alan Shealy. That's reason enough for me to vote for Kimball.

(Yeah - I know a vote against somebody isn't as good as a vote for somebody. But that's kinda the way it is this time around.)

One could argue that Shealy has some impressive credentials. Accoring to the City website, he graduated from both Harvard and Oxford! He also touts the fact that he's a former Olympic rowing champion.

A glowing endorsement letter in the Statesman says he "... adds a global perspective to the council's consideration of Boise's present and future."

For me, that's the problem! I'd much rather benefit from the perspective of somebody who's lived in Boise for 40 years, and knows what it was like in 1960, than somebody who moved here about the time Hillary moved to New York. Or somebody who's "global perspective" is that Boise is fabulous... since it's not as bad as St. Petersburg, or Milan, or Newark!

Kimball is a largely-unproven entity. He's been a candidate for several positions, but isn't running with a track record. He's lived in Boise for 57 years, and seems to have the old-timer, taxpayer perspective (I hope!)

I get the impression Shealy thinks he's God's gift to our backward little burg, and he knows best, so if you disagree you better just shut up! If you're as convinced as Shealy is that he's a genius, by all means vote for him! I'll vote for the other guy.

---

I don't feel strongly enough about any of the other contests to voice an opinion... vote for who's best.

The Boise Weekly newspaper had the best candidate profile I've seen... since the words are those of the candidates themselves. Click here to link to it.

Whatever else you do on November 6, VOTE! They are predicting there will be historic-low turnout... so every vote will count. If you don't vote, you have no right to join me in whining about how bad things are!!!
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Target Audience

2007-10-10T13:13:00.000-06:00

I doubt I'm in any TV-commercial target demographic groups. I can't remember the last time I bought something because I saw it on TV.

But lots of folks obviously do. In fact, if you go into a discount store, you can usually find - in the "cheap crap aisle" - a bunch of stuff with "As Seen on TV!" emblazoned across the packaging. As if that's a reason why you should buy it.

I'm probably too analytical when I'm watching the commercials. Usually I'm trying to figure out who they're aimed at.

There are a lot of disgusting commercials that are aimed at moms. Using "mom-guilt" as a selling tool.

If you don't make sure your kids eat lots of cheese and yogurt, you're not a very good mom.

Or Sunny-D. I'm not sure if Sunny-D is a fruit-flavored drink, or a formerly-fruit-flavored drink, or what. I can remember a few years back when there was a Sunny-D spill at the Sunny-D factory, and it killed a bunch of fish.

There's a cough syrup that calls itself "The Medicine of Motherhood." What kind of neglectful mom would not want to give her kids that stuff, by the spoons-ful?

My wife wants to buy all the new housekeeping gizmos she sees on TV... little mops that have custom-sized (buy refills!) cleaning surfaces, dusters that need refill cartridges, etc. What a racket! (I don't deny that housekeeping is hard work, and it's wonderful to have the best tools... I just question whether the "buy refills regularly!" tools do any better job than a traditional mop or rag.)

I just saw a commercial for cat litter that changes color when it's stinky. "If your cat litter doesn't change color, change cat litter!" is the clever tag-line. If you can't tell it's stinky without seeing what color it is... maybe it's not very stinky!

I have some ongoing befuddlement with the greasy fast-food fried chicken chain place. Several years ago, they adopted "Sweet Home Alabama" as the theme song for their chicken. And yet the chicken has "Kentucky" in the brand name.

Kentucky and Alabama aren't even adjacent states! Tennesee is squeezed in there.

Are there no decent songs about Kentucky? Was Colonel Sanders a huge Lynyrd Skynyrd fan? (I guess "Free Bird" wouldn't be a good theme song for "fried" chicken, huh?)

(Actually, there was an excellent song about Kentucky. I can remember as a child... we'd get box lunches of that same brand of chicken, and the boxes had Stephen Foster's awesome "My Old Kentucky Home" - lyrics AND music - printed on the end of the box. Perhaps too many people were offended; at one time, the lyrics were, "'Tis summer, the darkies are gay.")

The car and truck commercials are the most annoying - at least to me. They are MUCH more about the image of the drivers/passengers, than about the features the car or truck might have, or the real-life driving experience that will almost certainly be yours.

All trucks are super testosterone-macho. And by driving 'em, you, too, can be as macho as those hardhat wearing construction / farmer / cowboy / working-man types. Even if you're Clay Aiken with a handbag.

And all cars are driven by enthusiasts who relish the power, luxury, and performance of that particular model of car. All cars are driven right past gas stations, on roads that are totally devoid of other cars. ("Closed course - don't try this at home.") Of course, in real life, those cars will convene with the hunks-o-junk and broken-down sleds in the same traffic jams.

Okay... I've vented.

The True Story of Heidi, Idaho

2007-09-26T09:16:00.000-06:00

About a mile downstream from Banks, Idaho, on the Payette River is a spot with picnic tables and a beautiful little sandy beach. Although the sign doesn't say so, it's called Heidi, Idaho... and has been since the early '60s.

Dad loved to fish. But even more, he loved to be with his family.

As did Mom. I don't know about the fishing part... far as I know, she has never stepped foot in Cabela's, or had a fishing license. But she loved to spend time with her kids. Still does.

(I wasn't much of a fisherman, either. I tried a few times, but didn't have the patience for it. If a fish didn't bite my hook RIGHT NOW, I quickly lost interest. I preferred roaming up and down the shore, looking for discarded fish... so I could flip 'em over and look for creepy crawly maggots. Yeah... I was a sick kid. Still am.)

A favorite family outing involved driving in the forest and fishing in a beautiful lake or river.

Although Dad loved to fish, he didn't get much fishing in on these trips. He spent most of his time baiting hooks, clearing snags, untangling lines, rejoicing in the occasional kid-fish caught.

Mom was his assistant.

As I think back, I don't know if Mom EVER fished.

In the early 60s, Mom had six kids... at one point she had six kids aged seven or under. (And none of 'em twins. Think about that.) I was the oldest of the six; Heidi was the youngest.

At the time Heidi, Idaho got its name, I was eight pushing nine; Heidi was 1 1/2.

The day was a perfect spring day; we'd been on our forest drive in the old Plymouth station wagon (three seats - the rearmost seat faced backwards), and were headed back toward Boise, when that beach and that bend in the river beckoned in the mid-to-late afternoon.

We scrambled down to the beach and took our places. As I recall, we were the only ones there; it may be that it was still relatively early in the spring. But I also recall that it was a nice day.

As it was in the springtime; the water was running high and swift from the snow-melt. But we all knew to respect the river, and keep our distance.

Dad was making his rounds up and down the line, baiting hooks, helping the young'uns with their casting, untangling lines, etc. Mom was helping, and trying to keep inventory on her beloved babies.

As she made a head-count, she came up one short. And quickly determined Heidi - the baby - was missing. About the same time... here comes a tiny baby, a couple feet out in that swift-flowing river, floating face-down, drifting away from shore. HEIDI!!!

Dad started pulling off his shoes, removing his wallet, keys, etc., to effect a rescue.

He never got a chance.

Mom didn't have time for those formalities... she immediately waded out into the stream and plucked her tiny child by the arm, pulling her back to shore.

Heidi obviously hadn't been in the water long... she was gasping for breath, but mostly because of the coldness of that melted-snow water. A little wrapped-in-the-blanket time, and a new set of clothes, and she was good as new. We all felt grateful that she had gone in upstream, rather than downstream. Eight of us had left on the family outing... and eight returned home that evening. Mom was our hero. (Dad and Mom were always our heroes, but Mom shone particularly brightly on that day.)

Before we even got into the car and headed home, that beautiful little spot was named Heidi, Idaho.

It's got a nice ring to it.

(Click on either photo for larger viewing options. They were snapped on 21 Sept., 2007)

UPDATE: In my quest to make this story as "true" as possible, I'm adding some clarifications and corrections that my mother has supplied after reading it. (She was a little older than me at the time, and is qualified to make these corrections.)

- We had stopped for a family picnic, and all family members were gathered at the picnic tables up above the beach (minus Heidi... who was drawn to the beautiful water).

- Mom had to run down to the beach from the picnic area, and then swim out into the river to get to Heidi.

- Dad explained his hesitation later. He was mentally reviewing his Boy Scout rescue training... trying to remember if it's better to take shoes off or leave them on... wondering if he could throw his belt for Heidi to grab onto, etc. (Yeah... I can believe that.)

- Following her heroic and successful rescue, the rest of us wanted to eat our picnic, so we ate while Mom sat and shivered. (There was a change of clothes for Heidi, but none for Mom. Funny that she would remember that little "detail" better than me...)

Does religion create misery?

2007-09-12T09:40:00.000-06:00

There was a letter in the Idaho Statesman yesterday (September 11, 2007), that I feel compelled to respond to, even though the author of the letter will likely never see my response.

Here's the letter:

So much misery is the result of religion

Today, Sept. 11, marks the anniversary of one of the most perfidious attacks on American citizens.

This was the infamous 1857 Mountain Meadows Massacre, which has been described by historians as the worst Indian massacre in American history — except that it wasn't committed by Indians, it was committed by ordinary Euro-Americans in a frenzy of religious madness working under the orders of a deluded, self-styled man of faith.

Fast forward 144 years to 2001 and once again innocent Americans were murdered by religiously inspired zealots working under the orders of a deluded, self-styled man of faith.

How can so much misery be the result of religion?

First, one must realize that all religions require their adherents to turn off their minds. This makes them more easily susceptible to control by their power-hungry clergy. The Abrahamaic religions go one step further by commanding that there be no other gods.

From this commandment, as Thomas Jefferson so poignantly wrote, "Millions of innocent men, women, and children … have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned."

Nobel laureate Steven Weinberg has concluded that all it takes for good people to do bad things is religion. Now you know why these atrocities occurred.

Gary Bennett, Emmett

Now, first of all, Gary Bennett writes letters regularly. Most are critical of religion or religious people, conservatism, patriotism, etc. He obviously has a burr under his saddle, and views "the root of all problems" far differently from me. Which is his prerogative.

How unfortunate to view religion as an impetus for carnage and misery. Bennett is definitely a "glass-half-empty" kind of guy. Maybe he had a bad personal experience with religion.

The Mountain Meadows Massacre of which he writes - perpetrated by Mormon settlers in southern Utah - has been debated for 150 years. Bennett describes it with authority, as though he is aware of facts that have escaped other historians for all that time. (I s'pose his "deluded, self-styled man of faith" is Brigham Young. Or it could be John D. Lee, a local Mormon who was tried and hanged for the incident.)

Incidentally, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued this statement on the anniversary of that tragic occasion: "We express profound regret for the massacre carried out in this valley 150 years ago today, and for the undue and untold suffering experienced by the victims then and by their relatives to the present time." (Delivered by Apostle Henry Eyring at the site of the massacre, where the Church has also erected a monument honoring the victims.)

Indeed, much evil has been perpetrated over the course of history by people who claim to be motivated by their religion. But in almost every case, upon closer inspection those people could also be accused of personal greed, or ambition, or lust for power and influence, and their "religion" is a smokescreen. The radical Islamofacists come immediately to mind (particularly on September 11th). Richard Butler - former leader of the Aryan Nations in northern Idaho - painted himself as a "Christian." What could be farther from the truth? Is it fair to condemn a billion Muslims because of bin Laden? Or all of Christianity on account of Butler's twisted behavior and philosophy?

One could also get a negative view of religion by looking at "Reverend" Fred Phelps and his band of followers who call themselves the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka. (How is it that he can call himself a Baptist? I'd think they'd disassociate themselves with the likes of Phelps.) In case you're not familiar, his group travels from place to place with brightly-colored signs reading "God hates Fags," and declares that anything bad that happens is God's punishment on society for our tolerance of homosexuals. They are well known for "demonstrating" at funerals for fallen soldiers, etc. (I s'pose he thinks we should round all the homosexuals up and gas 'em, like Hitler did to the Jews. Can you imagine Jesus Christ - the Prince of Peace - endorsing such a message?)

Yeah... people who claim to be religious don't always act religious.

Consider the good that has been done, and is currently being done, by people who are trying to be good Christians.

When disaster strikes, it's almost always religious organizations (and the Red Cross - a private organization), who are the first responders. They don't ask for anything in return. They're just trying to be good neighbors and citizens, and treat folks the way they would like to be treated.

Right here locally, religious people provide shelter for the homeless, clothes for the naked, food for the hungry, care for the needy. They visit people in prison. They create recreational and learning opportunities for children and youth. They seek out those who are hurting, or lonely. I heard about a group of folks - motivated by their religion - who visit the Intensive Care Unit at the hospital once a week to sing to the patients and lift their spirits. I know a group of women who devote every Monday morning to assembling essential supplies for disaster response - "humanitarian kits," they call them - for people they've never met, and will likely never meet.

Yeah... so much misery.

(As for religious adherents "turning off their minds" - that is an entirely different topic. But I can confidently declare that Mr. Bennett's view is distorted. Some of the smartest people I know are deeply religious. A thinking person has no problem reconciling scientific theory with religious belief. Exercising free will by participating in religion does not mean surrendering one's free will. It's difficult for skeptics and cynics to understand that concept.)

I take great satisfaction in being associated with people who are motivated by genuine religious charity, and can't help but feel a bit of pity for Mr. Bennett for his jaded viewpoint. (Although he may be the author of much good in his community; I hope he has such opportunities.)

Royalty returns to Boise

2007-08-31T09:50:00.000-06:00

As we grieve the passing of our beloved Princess Diana (can it be 10 years?!!?), Boise's royalty has returned.

I'm talking, of course, about our beloved BSU Bronco football team. They are on a lofty pedestal, and there is some serious Bronco Worship going on about town. (They better not lose, though, or the fickle fans will turn on 'em like a Michael Vick Pit-Bull. I've seen it before, and it's ugly.)

GAME DAY

Actually for a couple days leading up to Game Day, I've been seeing more cars with the tell-tale BSU flags a-fluttering, etc. "WOW! Those people must be BSU fans!" I always think to myself. "And they're serious fans - not just ho-hum fans with maybe a T-shirt, or a bumper sticker."

On Game Day, I decided just for kicks to ride my bicycle around the stadium and absorb some of the tailgate vibe. It was around 3:30pm.

My time wasn't wasted... there was a sea of blue and orange - vehicles, shade awnings, banners and flags. I was picking my way carefully through a sizeable crowd, motor homes, pickups, barbecue grills, souvenir vendors, etc. (Mid-afternoon on a Thursday! Awesome!) Off in the distance, I could hear a man's voice bellowing, "Boiiiiisssseeeeeeeee!" (The first half of the stereophonic Boiiiiseeee.... Staaaaaaateeee! chant that's so popular at the games.) I didn't hear the second half. At 3:30pm, it was probably still an hour or so too early.

THE BIG GAME

Season opener. BSU vs. the Weber State Wildcats.

Let me wax nostalgic for a moment.

Back in the Big Sky days, they played every year, BSU and Weber State. I can remember sitting in the student section. My brother John and I would start a special cheer, just for that game. "Cream o' Weber!!!" (That is a brand-name for a Utah dairy; Cream o' Weber milk could be purchased at the Smith's grocery stores.) At the beginning of the game, people would be lookin' at us funny-like. But by the end of the game, 500 or 1000 rowdy students would be shouting "Cream o' Weber!" in unison. Beautiful thing.

This time around, I watched on the teevee at home. Being there "in person" is way too rich for my blood these days. Bronco Nation will never again be a refuge for po' folk.

It was a lopsided victory for BSU. They looked powerful, and won handily. I believe the score was 56-7. (It was 49-0 going into the locker room at halftime... the fat lady hadn't showed up yet, though, so they came out and went through the motions for another 30 minutes. Everybody on the Bronco team got to play quarterback, for at least a couple downs.)

Ian Johnson is amazing to watch. He seems to be in a different time-dimension from the other 21 players out there. Einstein, and that wheelchair guy, could explain it but I wouldn't understand. When he has the ball, the other 21 go at it for 5 seconds, and then Ian seems to pick his way through the rest of them, as if they're all frozen in stop-motion. (I think his nickname should be "Magic" Johnson. Is that already taken?)

For me, perhaps the most amazing thing about the game was the "sports team" doing coverage for KTVB.

It was the regular guys doing the pressbox-talking - David Augusto and Scott Slant or whatever-his-name is. They do okay, although I think they make WAY too many comparisons with a play they remember from a preseason scrimmage, or a game that BSU played 5 years ago or whatever. Who cares? (They should save that talk for when they're in their rocking chairs on the front porch of the Old Sportscasters' Home, a few years out.)

Some people listen to the radio guy - Paul J. He's been "the voice of the Broncos" since the broncos were roaming among the mastodons and triceratops. But he's an "acquired taste" - a taste I've never acquired. (IMO, he should've taken his place in front of the Old Sportscasters' Home maybe 10 years ago.)

I was truly baffled that KTVB still has oafish-but-lovable second-string weatherman Larry Gebert prowling the sidelines, instead of their new SPORTS-BABE, Kerith. WHAT ARE THEY THINKING??!? She would be perfect for the sidelines - she seems to know her stuff, and I've gotta think the coaches, players, etc. - pretty much EVERYBODY, except possibly for Senator Larry Craig - would enjoy talking to her more than to Gebert.

(CREDITS: Football game photo stolen from the Idaho Statesman website; news-people photos stolen from the KTVB website.)

It's not easy being conservative

2007-08-28T19:15:00.000-06:00

Senator Larry Craig has been a "public servant" for the citizens of Idaho his entire professional career. As a general rule, his views have been what most people call "conservative," mirroring those of his consituency. (Much to the chagrin of the folks in Boise's North End, and in Blaine County, Idaho is a "conservative" state.)

Now Craig's career is on the line.

He has pleaded guilty to "disorderly conduct," following an encounter he had with an undercover cop in a restroom of the Minneapolis Air Terminal.

Everybody knows that. It's the lead story on every news/opinion website, every news broadcast, and every newspaper across the Fruited Plain.

What did Craig do?

According to the complaint, he:
- Tapped his foot in a stall of the restroom - a secret gay mating signal, apparently. (Who knew?)
- Played "footsie" with the undercover cop in the next stall (obviously unaware it was an undercover cop).
- Put his hand underneath the partition.

(The lurid details can be read HERE.)

Frankly, I'd ask... where's the crime?

But Craig told the judge he's guilty... a fact that's difficult for even his most ardent supporters to ignore.

(There have been rumors about Craig's sexual orientation for years. If Craig is not gay - and he vehemently denies being gay - I feel sorry for him, because it would be miserable to be deflecting the accusations. If he is gay, I feel equally sorry for him, because it would be miserable to live a double life, being the "conservative" in the public eye, and a whole different person in private.)

When the story broke, a firestorm of indignation followed.

For me, it's most interesting to observe who's indignant.

It's a no-brainer that Craig's liberal detractors would join in the beat-down. His fall from grace is a godsend for them.

They point out the apparent hypocrisy, since Craig has consistently voted against "equal rights" for gays, gay marriage, etc.

But - they are joined by a sustained chorus of conservative voices, who condemn Craig and call for his resignation.

Yep - it's not easy being conservative. Mess up, and both teams pile on!

Let's compare, for a moment, the sad story of Larry Craig with a champion of the liberals, Mr. Al Gore.

(I hope this is a valid comparison. If I'm being unfair, I invite dissenting viewpoints.)

Al "Inconvenient Truth" Gore says all the right things. He preaches the gospel of Global Warming and conservation, and living a "small carbon-footprint" lifestyle.

But then - shockingly! - it comes to light that Gore's Tennesee mansion consumes $36,000 worth of energy per year!

(Not to mention the fossil fuel he burns as he private-jets from lecture to lecture, takes limousines from the airport, etc. Gore explains that he purchases "carbon credits," and that he's trying to cut down on his consumption. I have yet to hear an explanation that I could understand, of how that carbon-credits stuff works. But that's a different topic.)

Who criticizes Algore?

His "conservative" detractors lay it on thick. Like Craig's critics, they point out the hypocrisy of a guy who says one thing in public, while living a private lifestyle that's apparently contradictory to his Good Word.

But strangely, most of his supporters rush to his defense! They are more than happy to give him a pass. After all, he's saying all the right things. And he should be cut some slack because of all the good that he's doing, preaching the Good Word of Global Warming.

(Perhaps the Gore Faithful actually feel relieved that Gore doesn't practice what he preaches. After all, it assuages their guilt for doing the same thing... criticizing SUV drivers, corporations, etc., - the high-visibility offenders - while doing precious little themselves to reduce their Carbon Footprints.)

So, what's the difference?

Well, let's compare the alleged offenses.

Craig is accused of being secretly gay. Algore is accused of being a secret global warmer.

Which is worse? The liberals would say that being a Global Warmer is far worse than being gay! There's nothing wrong with being gay!

They say they're not outraged by Craig's gayness, but rather by his hypocrisy.

So what about Algore?

The difference, it seems, is that liberals don't like what Craig says, and they like what Gore says. It doesn't matter what they do, as long as they're saying the right thing (and Craig isn't). And darn it... conservatives expect you to do what you say!

It's not easy being conservative.

P.S. - I think Craig should step down, or at least declare he won't run for reelection in 2008. I've generally supported him over the years, but these ongoing allegations have become enough of a distraction that he's ineffective representing Idaho's interests in Congress. And if he's gay, he's a hypocrite. (By the way, we're all hypocrites to one degree or another. But when you choose to be in the Public Light, you have a higher duty, in my opinion.)

Public School Insanity

2007-08-23T08:39:00.000-06:00

In Mesa, Arizona, a 13-year-old was suspended for sketching a "gun" at school.

Dad went to Payne Junior High to talk about his son's delinquent ways... the public servants at the school cited the Columbine massacre. School district spokesman Terry Locke said the drawing was "absolutely considered a threat."

Click HERE to link to the FoxNews article.

The offending sketch:

(To me, it looks like something out of Napoleon Dynamite's notebook.)

There's a law against that?

2007-07-25T08:44:00.000-06:00

Certain members of Congress are threatening to hold certain members of the White House staff in "Contempt of Congress" for not cooperating with Congressional investigations into various sordid affairs of state.

The congressmen are all Democrats... because it's a "partisan" thing, like 99% of what goes on in Congress.

Is there really something wrong with "contempt of congress"? Because I'll admit right up front - I've been guilty of that pretty much since I was old enough to pay attention. They better prepare my prison cell.

But... they'll need a lot of cells. The vast majority of Americans disapprove of Congress. (Compared with Congress, President Bush has a huge approval rating!)

Don't get me wrong - I've been very disappointed by much of what President Bush has done. (I'm a "small government is good government" adherent - and Bush has definitely taken us in the opposite direction. But the blowhards in Congress are so incompetent, and partisan, it's a pathetic joke. About the only meaningful legislation they've accomplished recently was giving themselves a nice raise.)

Our Shrinking Forest

2007-07-05T15:09:00.000-06:00

Only yesterday it was a magnificent stand of mixed trees, for almost as far as the eye could see. Today it's a few stumps and slash piles.

THE GREAT CLEAR-CUT OF 2007

Surely this an even worse disaster than hit our urban forest in 2003 or thereabouts, when a careless smoker tossed a smouldering butt into the juniper ground cover.

Where was Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne when this was going on? Talk about being asleep at your post!

If only I'd known! I would've demanded a spotted owl inventory; I'm no owl expert, but I'm sure I've seen 'em nesting in the branches. I would've renamed myself Butterfly Boy, put on an Indian headdress, and lived in a treetop hammock high above the ground, to prevent this from happening.

Blah-Blah Nation

2007-06-27T08:50:00.000-06:00

Are you ready? To stand in the midnight line (on June 28) to get your iPhone?

The hype started a few months back. It promises to revolutionize wireless mobile communication, with its beautiful touch-screen and marvelous functionality. $500 for the phone and $100/month for the service? Small price to pay, to be on the leading edge for a couple months, huh?

What has happened to us?

Ten years ago, everybody - well, most everybody - got along just fine without being connected 24/7.

(And I've got to confess - my motivation to write these words stems partly from the fact that I love to be away from the phone whenever the opportunity presents itself. I carry a cell phone, but that's my boss's choice, not mine. And I love to pocket it and hope that it never rings. It really wouldn't need any buttons except the "answer" button, because I place an outgoing call on it maybe once a month.)

Nowadays, you see people yammering when they're driving, walking, shopping, eating in a restaurant, watching a movie. I imagine they use the little hands-free Star Trek earpiece thingie when they're making love... because they sure can't stop yappin'! How about when they're taking a shower? Is the iPhone water resistant?

Do you think it's important business they're discussing? Sealing that multi-million-dollar deal? Talking to Police Dispatch? Helping a lost child find his way home?

Guess again!

If you happen to overhear one of those conversations, there's a good chance it will be meaningless inane twaddle. What happened on "Desperate Housewives" last night. Or which dry cat food they like the best. Or how unfair Matilda is being to Hubert.

I assume that physical therapists are seeing patients with "cell-phone elbow." You know... the people who have injuries resulting from their elbows being cocked at a very tight angle, holding cell-phone to ear 18 hours a day. (And if Darwin is right about that evolution thing, maybe in a couple generations our descendents will have a normal size right arm, and a tiny little 8-inch left arm... just long enough to hold a cell-phone to ear. That would be pretty handy, huh?)

According to a survey of 1256 cell phone users in the UK, 1/3 of them wouldn't give up their cell phone for $2 million. 76% said it's a "social requirement" to own a cell phone. 85% said having a cell phone is "vital to maintaining their quality of life." (Click HERE to link to an article about the survey.)

Of course, only losers and dorks use regular cell phones. If you're anybody, you need one of those units that has the tiny keyboard, so you can send instant messages and email, and "surf the net" and look at pretty pictures.

(Which begs the question... why is it preferable to spend 2 minutes tap-tap-tapping out a sentence on a smaller-than-tiny keyboard - or numeric/alpha keypad - when you could call the person and speak the sentence in 10 seconds? Am I just too much the geezer to understand?) (I know... I know... I'm sounding more and more like Andy Rooney all the time!)

Well, starting Friday, only losers and dorks will use a Blackberry, or a "Q" (is that the one James Bond uses?), or a Treo. All the happ'nin' people will use an iPhone.

There have already been horrible auto accidents where one of the parties was trying to punch a message into his cell-phone keyboard while driving. I imagine the iPhone will just make matters worse. Generally, if I see a motorist make a really, totally stupid move, it's almost a sure bet they're operating that vehicle one-handed, because the other hand is taking care of cell-phone duties.

Here's a theorem... speak up if you disagree. Never in history has the quantity of "information" been better, than in 2007. Never has the quality of information been worse.

Fond Summer Memories

2007-06-15T12:51:00.000-06:00

May I wax nostalgic for a moment.

It was great to grow up in Boise, back in the 60s. And summers brought particularly enjoyable pastimes.

Since we lived on the edge of town, with the "military reserve" a block down the street, it was like having the biggest, most awesome backyard... filled with trails and rocks and sagebrush and lizards and the occasional snake. I'd take advantage of that at least once a week, walking up to nearby "Eagle Rock," or maybe even over the top to Cottonwood Canyon. All that space and a pocketful of Matchbox cars... what else did you need to stay entertained?

We lived on a gently-sloping gravel road. It was always pleasurable to set the hose so water would run down the gutter, and then we'd build miniature earth-filled dams with roads, spillways, etc., in that gutter. (Mom indulged us, probably thinking I'd grow up to be the next Harry Morrison.)

The "Nat" (Natatorium city swimming pool, off Warm Springs) was a frequent haunt. We'd go there probably 4 afternoons a week, and spend a couple hours. (After the first week or so, we'd gotten all that sunburn stuff out of the way. I don't believe there was any such thing as sunscreen back in those days.) We'd go with the neighbors. Sometimes Mom would drive. Sometimes their mom would drive - I dreaded that because she always had a cigarette going. GACK! (We were suspicious of her anyway... because she'd holler at us when we'd play on her dirt "Stay off that bank!", and shoot our dog with her pellet gun when he was barking too much for her sensibilities. But I digress.)

Now and then, I'd splash a kid after getting the cease-and-desist order from the lifeguard. And get kicked out. Which wasn't so bad - there was a canal that ran right behind the pool. Usually my brothers and sisters would leave with me, and we'd head for the canal, which seemed a rather exciting, dangerous adventure, compared with that sparkling, clean swimming pool water.

Frequently after swimming, we'd stop at the Avenue Inn (now the Trolley House) and get a softie. 5 cents for small (pointy cone), 10 cents for large (flat-bottom cone). The proprieter - a rather gruff old fellow named Chris - didn't hear very well... you soon learned to ask for a "softie," and not a "cone." Because if you asked for a "cone," he'd often prepare you a "coke" instead.

Another favorite treat-stop was the Fanci Freez, on State Street (where it remains to this day). Strangely, it, too, was run by a rather sullen and somber old fellow and his equally-somber wife. They didn't have much to smile about, apparently. I usually got a large root beer float (30 cents). The most expensive thing on the list was a Boston Shake - 45 cents. It was a milkshake with a sundae on top. Fan-TAS-tic!! Dip cones were also a favorite.

Another cherished summer memory - weekday movies at the Ada Theater. (Now the Egyptian. In this age of VCRs and DVDs and satellite dishes, it just wouldn't be the same.) Mom would get us a season ticket for adventure movies on a weekday morning, at the Ada Theater. Sometimes we'd even get popcorn, or a soda. We'd always sit in the same place - first row of the balcony. And we'd watch a John Wayne movie, or Roy Rogers. Or maybe Sinbad, or Jason and the Argonauts, or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, or Mysterious Island. The crowd was raucous - we'd cheer for the good guys, and boo the bad guys.

It's too bad you only get to be a kid once... because I sure loved it! (But as my mother reminds me, "You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.")

A job for the BATF(E)

2007-05-22T09:50:00.000-06:00

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and Explosives (explosives recently added - probably a 9/11 thing) has a job to do, and also a reputation. Their job is to regulate the lawful sale of A, T, F and E, and to keep 'em out of the wrong hands. Their reputation, unfortunately, seems to be that they frequently go after law-abiding citizens who forgot to cross their 't's and dot their 'i's on the forms... those being easier to deal with (and locate) than real criminal-types.

I've got an idea for a service the BATF could perform that would be helpful to law-abiding citizens. It springs from a personal experience.

Ten years or so ago, I was in the market for a Glock 26 handgun. I didn't want to pay the high retail price at the local gun store. So, I started watching the classifieds.

I saw an ad in the Idaho Statesman - the gun I was looking for, at a price I was willing to pay.

I called the guy and made arrangements to go see the gun.

He lived in a trailer house in Garden City. It's unfair to judge people based on their appearance, but his appearance aroused suspicion. He was kind of a long-hair, tattooed, muscle-gone-to-seed biker-type looking guy, with kind of a semi-desperate gleam in his eyes.

The gun was in a gun safe. Cool. He took it out; I looked at it and liked it... looked like a showroom gun.

Because of the circumstances, I had some hesitation. I asked him to give me 24 hours to think it over, and made a mental note of the serial number (thankfully quite short on Glocks). My plan was to do some checking - make sure the gun was "legitimate." (Not stolen, or formerly used for a crime, or otherwise being sought by "the authorities.")

I called the local BATF office.

"I'm thinking about buying a gun from a private party. If I give you the make, model and serial number, can you tell me whether it's a fugitive gun?"

BATF: "No. We don't offer that service. You might check with the Sheriff's office."

So, I called the sheriff's office and asked the same question. I told them I had been referred to them by the BATF.

The officer I spoke to was sympathetic, but said they don't offer that service, either. He couldn't offer any suggestions; he said it's strictly "buyer beware."

I AM aware! That's why I'm trying to check it out!

I called Senator Craig's office. They too were sympathetic but not helpful.

I called the sheriff's deputy back. He finally and somewhat reluctantly did a serial-number check, even though it is NOT a service that they offer. The gun was okay... at least not on the Hot List. I bought it, and still have it.

SEEMS TO ME... it would be a good thing if civilians were able to identify guns that are fugitive in nature.

What would be the harm of having a web-based tool, where a person could enter a make/model/sn of a gun, to find out if it's on the fugitive list? Nothing more than that.

If a gun of mine were stolen, I'd LOVE anything that would make it more difficult for the thief to unload it. If I were shopping for a gun from a private party, I would LOVE to be able to easily check and see if it's fugitive. If I crossed paths with a fugitive gun, I'd gladly cooperate with the authorities in trying to get it off the street.

Frankly, if there's a down-side, I can't see what it might be.

Rock Stars Answer Life's Questions

2007-04-23T10:17:00.000-06:00

"Rock stars - is there anything they don't know?"
- Homer Simpson

The smartest people rise to the top, and become celebrities.

Fortunately for us, many are quite willing to share their expertise with us common folk.

Currently, they are sharing their notions about Global Warming, and what we (we being us "common people") can and should be doing about it.

Sheryl Crow (known mostly to me personally because she was Lance Armstrong's girlfriend for awhile) has been on a "Stop Global Warming College Tour." (Evidently one of the best things you can do to stop Global Warming is to get on a biodiesel bus and tour the country.)

There's a story about their adventures in the Washington Post - click HERE to read about "The Biodiesel Bus Blog."

Some of Sheryl's ideas:

- "I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. "

- Dining Sleeve: "I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.
(She's joking - right? Somebody tell me it's just a joke!)

- Reality show - the contestant who lives the "greenest life" would get a recording contract.

Earth to Sheryl! Earth to Sheryl!

School Uniforms

2007-04-18T09:32:00.000-06:00

Uniforms in public schools? It's a topic of discussion at my house.

My youngest daughter is just finishing up at South Junior High, which implemented Boise Schools' first-ever mandatory-uniform policy this year. And she's headed for Borah High, which is seriously considering doing the same, beginning next year.

Based on my daughter's comments, she's against it, but not "rabidly" against it.

Frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

There are some letters to the editor in today's daily newspaper, arguing both sides of the issue. (Strangely, they're both from men... the affected girls seem way more animated about the issue, than the boys.)

David Everhart of Nampa says: "If somebody is wearing a revealing or offensive clothing, then the current code says send them home. Much like gun laws or immigration, enforce the current laws and new ones will be unnecessary.

"Spare me the notions of class equality. There will always be the 'haves and have nots.' You could force rich kid to wear the same uniform as poor kid, but are you going to ban him/her from driving his BMW to school? Are you going to tell them that the rich/poor barrier magically disappears after high school? There's lots of grownups in uniform right now who are fighting and dying for these kids' right not to wear one, so let it go."

I don't know about the kids' right to not wear a uniform, or people fighting for that particular freedom, but I agree with the rest. (I don't know if the First Amendment extends to attire as "freedom of speech.")

But then, Dan Fisher of Boise makes this point: "Some Borah High students equate uniforms with suppressed creativity. That's a shallow perspective. Remove the superficial exterior from the equation and perhaps students will begin to identify themselves with their thoughts, not their threads. For the truly original students I've known, it wasn't about what they wore; it was about what they thought."

It's hard to argue with either one of those persuasive arguments.

I suggested to my daughter a compromise - uniforms required, but the uniforms would be a costume as worn by your favorite "Village People." That would preserve "creative expression," while maintaining decorum, no? As she does ever-so-frequently, my daughter just groaned and rolled her eyes.

Name That Housing Development!

2007-04-17T21:26:00.000-06:00

In a previous post, I pointed out that there is no oversight when it comes to subdivision naming, and some of the flagrant abuse of that situation.

Here's a strange one. The Clock Tower Apartments, behind where Bob Rice Ford used to be, just off Main Street.
Actually it's quite a nice-looking apartment complex, except for the clock tower! What's with that?!! The clock tower looks to be made out of 4x4 posts and plywood! (If it were a lovely, ornate clock tower... like say Big Ben, or the Depot tower, or even the celebrated $76,000 Timberline High School clock tower, it would be a different story!)

Also - take a close look at that clock tower. Two different times on two clocks - must be that the innards are just as shoddy! (Or maybe one of the clocks displays California Time, for the recently-displaced Californians who live there.)

If that is the Clock Tower Apartments, then this must be the Cell Tower subdivision.
(This is not a doctored photo... it's out near the intersection of South Maple Grove and Amity.)

Mid-April Income Tax Rant

2007-04-16T12:58:00.000-06:00

Every year, I swear I'm going to get my taxes "out of the way" early on, so I don't have to fret over them.

Also every year, I end up waiting 'til a couple days before the deadline, because the job is so distasteful and repulsive. (I'd rather clean out the rain gutters and change swamp-cooler pads, than work on my income taxes!)

Also every year, some of our politicians roll out the idea of a much-simplified income tax system.

Who's standing in the way? The powerful CPA lobby? Turbo Tax Inc?

What would ol' Tom Jefferson say, if he were working on his income taxes, and got to the line, "Do you have qualified dividends from Form 1040, Line 9B, or Form 1040NR, Line 10? If so, complete the Qualified Dividends and Capital Gain Worksheet on Page 38..." And the worksheet on Page 38, of course, has you go find numbers at a half-dozen random places, and then subtract Line 26 from Line 22B, and multiply the result by 2.74, and compare your answer with Line 41 on Form 3562...

One thing's for absolutely certain: When I sign my name saying "to the best of my knowledge, this is true, correct, and complete," that is the absolute truth! Because I don't have a clue! (And to the best of my knowledge, neither does anybody in the IRS, or in Congress!)

The only reason I'm looking forward to dying, is because I won't have to fill out any more 1040s or Schedule Ds or 39Rs... Ah, death, where is thy sting?

Don Imus said something offensive? I'm shocked!

2007-04-10T12:29:00.000-06:00

Don Imus is the latest casualty of Foot-in-Mouth Disease. He said some racist and mean-spirited things about the Rutgers University womens basketball players. (Following the proud tradition that has been fostered along by Jimmy the Greek, John Rocker, Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, Tim Hardaway, Ann Coulter, and a host of other sports and screen luminaries.)

Some readers may not even know who Don Imus is, or may have never heard of him before this publicity. (Who knows? Perhaps this crisis will end up helping his career in the long run. Stranger things have happened.)

Don Imus is a radio talker who I'd describe as a "low-power shock jock." On the scale, he's jalapeño to Howard Stern's habanero. He's been at it for 20-odd years; what distinguishes him is that he wears a cowboy hat when he talks on the radio. (Huh?)

[DISCLAIMER: I've never listened to Howard Stern on the radio. And I've only listened to Don Imus maybe a half-dozen times. So I may not know what I'm talking about, at least from personal experience.]

I think it's safe to say people who tune in to Howard Stern, or Don Imus, do so expecting and even hoping to hear something outrageous. Why do we gasp and faint when they oblige?

Problem is - it's a political-correctness tightrope these people walk. You have to be very careful when you're picking your targets to say outrageous things about.

RULE 1 - don't say bad stuff 'bout black people or gays. How hard is it to understand? Both of those groups will come down hard on you!

(Actually, RULE 1 is probably "don't say bad stuff 'bout Muslims!" They'll carve your head off with a machete!)

Other groups - like white folks, or Christians or Jews - are fair game. Jesse Jackson - one of the spokesmen for the Black Indignation League - once referred to the "Jewish" part of New York City as "Hymie-town." So apparently it's only racism when it's directed at a group in which he claims membership.

I've got a question. For those who have risen up in Imus-indignation. Have you ever listened to that hip-hop / gangsta "music"? I try to avoid it, but I know one of the main topics is "hos" and such. And I bet in 2 minutes, in the music store of your choice, I could find CDs with utterances much more racially charged and offensive than what Imus said. Black kids and white kids are scoopin' that stuff up - and "singing" along!

"Reverend" Al Sharpton - a windbag if ever there was one - let Imus grovel on his radio show.

Which raises another question.

SHARPTON HAS A RADIO SHOW???

What if Imus hadn't said those things? Would Sharpton still have had a radio show? Who listens? What would the topic have been?

Sharpton should be thanking Imus for saying those things. If it weren't for guys like Imus, guys like Sharpton would be totally irrelevant, instead of mostly irrelevant. Sharpton is a Professional Racist - he makes a living by being a racist. Imus and the others are pale amateurs by comparison!

Jesus is a golf fan?

2007-04-09T09:23:00.000-06:00

If you've seen the movie "Caddyshack" (or more likely if you're a big "Caddyshack" fan like I am), you may remember the classic scene where the priest is out playing golf in a torrential thunderstorm. Even though his golf buddies (Ted Knight and Rodney Dangerfield) have long since headed for the clubhouse, he just can't bring himself to stop, because he's having his best game ever! (With Bill Murray caddying, giving advice, and looking on.) Every hole - several strokes under par! In one case, his putt goes right past the hole; a sudden wind-gust blows it back in. As he completes the 18th Hole, he thrusts his arms heavenward, in a victorious gesture, and lightning hits the upstretched golf club. He drops dead, on the green, in the driving rain. God has obviously called him home.

Cinderella story.

Divinity was once again invoked, or suggested, at this year's "Cinderella story." The Masters.

Zach Johnson won. (I know... "Who?" Except for "Caddyshack" and Tiger Woods, I pretty much agree with Mark Twain on golf: "A good walk spoiled.")

Anyway, Mr. Johnson, commenting on his Easter Sunday win, declared, "I certainly felt another power that was walking with me and guiding me."

This is obviously nothing new. The outcome of a majority of sporting events is determined by help from Above (and "my momma"), based on acknowledgments of MVPs, winners, etc.

I suppose this is a demonstration of faith, in a rather simple and temporal way. (As is the guy in the rainbow wig who holds up the sign saying "John 3:16" - "The Official Scripture of the NFL.")

In reality, I'd guess that:
1) Jesus is not that interested in sporting events (although I know He's deeply concerned about the spiritual welfare of the participants... even the ones with tattoos), and
2) He would prefer that they be held on some day other than the Sabbath.

IF they watched sports in Heaven, 24/7, and IF they were interested... BYU, Notre Dame and Oral Roberts would never lose! (Except when they play each other, of course!)

One final note... if the TVs in Heaven are tuned to golf (or men's figure-skating, etc.) I think I'd rather go to "the other place," because that ain't Heaven for me! (-;

Republican = Conservative?

2007-03-23T11:16:00.000-06:00

Not necessarily so. They like to boast of that distinction, but look no further than the Idaho Legislature (likely the most one-sided Republican in the nation) for evidence to the contrary.

If they were so conservative, you'd think Idaho's taxpayers would hardly have a burden at all! And Idaho's Book of Laws could be contained in a brochure.

Most recently, they voted a ban on smoking in Idaho bowling alleys by a wide margin.

How is that "conservative"?

(To his credit, Governor Otter, who is much more conservative than the Legislature, vetoed the bill.)

The well-meaning legislators just wanted to protect Idaho's citizens. One of the bill's sponsors, Senator Brent Hill, worries about the ill-effects of second-hand smoke. He said, "It's not a matter of 'it's possible,' it's a fact that they will [get sick]."

Now, if he were talking about visitors to a smoke-filled government office building, I'd agree with him 100%.

But last I heard, people can choose whether to visit a privately-owned bowling alley. (Personally, the only time I visit is when our church youth group is helping out with a Special Olympics event. Because I don't like the stench of tobacco, and will avoid it when I have the choice.) The owner of the bowling alley should be able to determine - based on whatever criteria he wants to use - whether to allow smoking or prohibit smoking.

Same thing with bars and restaurants. I can't imagine eating in a restaurant filled with tobacco smoke... and would take my business elsewhere. The restauranteur should be able to decide how badly he wants the business of non-smokers.

Will Work For Food

2007-03-07T07:05:00.000-07:00

Now that the days are getting longer again, I'm starting to see the cardboard signs at drive-time. Most of 'em are the traditional "Will work for food." How many of those folks are really hoping to land some gainful employment? I've heard that Boise currently has several THOUSAND unfilled jobs, and many of them are in the service industry, where you don't need skills and experience, just willingness to work.

There's a guy I see regularly just under the I-184 Connector. He looks able-bodied, maybe early 40s, somewhat unkempt but presentable. His sign is a variation... I believe it says "Just need a little help."

I can identify! I "work for food" every day! (When I bicycle past the guy who "just needs a little help," I'm tempted to stop and give him some help in the form of advice - GET A JOB!)

Years ago, we taught our kids a valuable object lesson.

We were headed for the bakery thrift store. (I have to watch my budget carefully, or I'll be standing on the side of the road with a cardboard sign!) We saw a guy sitting on a corner a couple blocks away, with his sign. It said "will work for food." So, we bought an extra loaf of bread - FINE bread! - and took it back to him. He acted as though he was extremely grateful - he eagerly took the bread and said, "Thank you, God bless!" or something to that effect. We drove away, feeling good about having provided some food. (We all know that money will buy food, but if you donate cash, it can be exchanged for pretty much anything.)

Later that afternoon, we were on a different errand. We drove past the same corner. The panhandler guy was gone. The loaf of bread was sitting on the corner, unopened. We took it to the park and fed the ducks with it. Evidently the guy wasn't that hungry.

Like I said before - we taught our kids a valuable object lesson.

Here's an interesting story out of Denver. They've set up some "homeless parking meters," where charitable folks can feed a few quarters into the meter instead of handing it directly to a homeless person. Money collected is used to fund the various programs for the local homeless population.

Bad News!

2007-03-02T09:23:00.000-07:00

The tire tracks in the snow told the tragic story. The car had gone off the highway, and headed straight for the pond. Inexperienced 15-year-old driver, bad road conditions. She, and her younger brother, and three friends all perished in the cold water that quickly enveloped them.

Surely death was relatively quick and painless. They were good kids, and I sincerely believe they're in a better place now.

But it's difficult to even imagine the grief and horror being experienced by their families, friends, and other loved ones left behind.

The "drive-by media" quickly circled overhead like buzzards. Or was it more like a shark feeding-frenzy… roaming around the victims' school, hoping to catch somebody crying on camera? Or to put a microphone in the face of a friend for a sobbing interview?

Is this the "news coverage" that we, the viewers, want? Do we bask in bad news? Do we gain something by observing the tragedy of others? Does it make us feel better about the relative peace and serenity of our own lives?

And how about the news reporters and producers? If they get video of tears rolling down the principal's face, do they "high-five" back at the station house?

It's always somewhat bizarre to watch it on the 6 o'clock news… they put on their long faces as they solemnly discuss the story. And then, as often as not, they brighten right up with those local-celebrity Pepsodent smiles, as they go into the next (happy) story, most likely about the Broncos winning the Fiesta Bowl.

They'll milk it for all it's worth. Video of the pallbearers and the funeral coach (reporterette dressed in black). Maybe some follow-up interviews with the deputy sheriff or a family spokesman. Maybe ask the lawmakers why there aren't guardrails along every foot of every state highway.

(It's no different in the national, or even world, media. Witness Anna Nicole Smith. Or Princess Diana - I see where her late boyfriend's daddy gets to tell his story to the jury... his story being that it was no accident; they were killed by British Security so the beloved princess wouldn't end up marrying a Muslim.)

Eventually we'll all get distracted by some other tragic or sordid story.

Again I ask… is this what the viewers want to see? Apparently.

(May God bless and comfort the families and friends of these kids, taken from them way too soon.)

Don't Fence Me In!

2007-02-28T19:30:00.000-07:00

Mother Nature always wins.

I noticed these unusual trees on the Boise Greenbelt, that have sprung up along the path of the chain-link fence.

That fence has obviously been there for some time; the trees have grown around the links, and melded with the fence. Rather amazing.

Book suggestion: Armed America

2007-02-23T14:23:00.000-07:00

Armed America: The Remarkable Story of How and Why Guns Became as American as Apple Pie
By Clayton E. Cramer
ISBN 1595550690

I'm not a hunter, but I'm a gun owner and an NRA Life Member, and I believe as much in the Second Amendment as I do the others.

The first reason this book caught my eye is because Clayton Cramer is a neighbor of sorts. He lives in the Boise area. I read his blog every so often; it's always well-crafted, and his viewpoints usually line up quite nicely with my own.

The second reason is because it was on the list of "Second Amendment Must-Read" books, in my NRA magazine that just arrived. In fact, it was the first book on the list.

A bit of background:

Back in 2000, a fella named Michael Bellesiles wrote a book called Arming America: The Origins of a National Gun Culture. The general premise of that book was that the historical significance of guns in the Story of America has been vastly overstated, and that they were not part of our nation's development, at least to the degree as usually portrayed.

Naturally, Bellesiles' book was lauded by the mainstream media, Academia, Sarah Brady and Charles Schumer, and all the other anti-gun voices. He won Columbia University's "Bancroft Prize." (That's probably a good thing, I'm guessing.)

But it also got the attention of gun-lovers across the Fruited Plain, including Mr. Cramer, the author of this new book. They quickly did some fact checking on Bellesiles' book, and discovered that much of it was made up, and largely inaccurate.

Columbia University took away their prize. Bellesiles lost his tenure at Emory University, and resigned his position there. (Of course, the anti-gun crowd, never inclined to be persuaded or dissuaded by facts, continues to gush over the book!)

Okay... enough background.

Regarding Cramer's new book...

His description, from the beginning: "Here's a history of guns in America … Minutemen. Fur trappers. Davy Crockett. The shot heard 'round the world. Pioneers circling the wagon trains. Cowboys and Indians. Jesse James. Wyatt Earp. Buffalo Bill and the OK Corral. Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, and Martin Luther King, Jr., downed one and all, by gunmen. Rambo. Dirty Harry. Lethal Weapon. Columbine." All of these historical, or not-so-historical, incidents have been ingrained into Americans from the day we are born – on TV, in books, on the big screen, in our daily play as a child and as news items.

I have not read the book yet, but intend to. In fact, I just put a "hold" on it at the public library. Check back.

Subdivision False Advertising??

2007-02-21T07:36:00.000-07:00

Close your eyes. Listen to the breeze, whistling gently through the pines as it blows in off the vast expanse of the Pacific. Off in the distance and far below, you can hear the waves crashing majestically off the crags and cliffs.

Ah - who am I kidding? That's not ocean noise - it's freeway noise! I'm standing at the entrance to the "Sea Pines" subdivision, right behind the GMC Truck Center. (And I-84 is about a block in the other direction. At least the Truck Center closes down in the evening; I-84 is going 24/7.)

(I'm not an expert on trees - is that one in the photo a "sea pine"? I always thought "sea pines" looked more like what you see at Big Sur, California... or perhaps Heceta Head, Oregon.)

I first took note of the problem about the time the "Sea Pines" sign went up, 20 years or so ago.

Developers are apparently free to name their subdivisions anything they want to! And do they ever take liberties!

Where is "truth in advertising"? Why isn't the Attorney General all over this?!?

There are glaring examples all over the Boise area - I hope to expose some of them.

Let's take another journey.

Thoreau abandoned the hustle and bustle of urban life, settling at his beloved Walden Pond. There, he could commune with nature. Enjoy a more relaxed pace. Get in touch with his more sensitive side.

Ah, Walden. Birds a-twitter in the trees. The occasional bass, disturbing the serene surface of the lake. The soothing buzz of cicadas and crickets. Summertime... and the livin' is easy.

Back to reality. Boise's "Walden Pond," just off Cloverdale Road, offers a slightly different ambiance. Do you suppose the "victims," who bought lots in "Walden Pond," did so sight-unseen?

Look at the exquisitely-placed 3-car garages! Notice how the streets aren't straight, but gently winding... after all, you don't find straight lines in Nature, and we're getting back to nature! I bet the residents of "Walden Pond" put on their Birkenstocks over the weekend, and have a Thoreau experience as they fire up the charcoal in the back yard, huh?

New Revelation!!

2007-02-15T16:10:00.000-07:00

A new papyrus scroll has been found in the Middle East! Biblical experts believe that it contains additional revelations of John the Apostle, and if not lost for these thousands of years, would likely have been contained in the Book of Revelation. (Like most of the Book of Revelation, it's quite difficult to interpret.) This is the translated text:

Revelation 15
9 And I beheld children with rings of gold in their noses and their ears, and shafts of silver in their tongues. And I beheld that they were painted with a color that would not wash off in the rain. And they did wear their raiment in a manner in which it hung low upon their loins. And they did also have jewels and rings and objects of great worth in the buttons of their bellies.
11 And I beheld that their dwelling places did each have a great dish pointing heavenward. And behold I was mystified, because the dish gathered not the word of Heaven, but rather the word of him who was cast forth from Heaven.
12 And I beheld those from the Land of the Moving Picture Box, going forth to the Dark Continent in great silver birds, and fetching back babies of various sizes and colors.
13 And behold, I did see multitudes in their horseless chariots. Yet they did not move, but rather did sit in their chariots in long lines from sunrise to sunset. And they did speak into little black boxes, as if to themselves.
14 And behold, I did see yet another horseless chariot, just before the End of Times. And this final chariot did contend mightily with other horseless chariots in the Great and Final Race, in the Land of Daytona. And its name was… TOYOTA.

THE END IS NIGH!

What's the Ugliest Car?

2007-02-15T10:10:00.000-07:00

Beauty is subjective. But as usual, you're at the right place to get the CORRECT opinion!
(-;

Although cars look much more "alike" in 2007 than they did in, say, 1967, there is still a wide variety of car-looks to tempt discriminating car shoppers. (Unlike in China and Russia, where all the cars look alike, and are all painted primer gray. And except for the ballerinas and figure skaters, all their women look alike and are painted primer gray. Hahahahahaha!) (God Bless America!)

The ugly-car champion for years and years was the AMC Pacer. Surely the undeniable ugliness of the vehicle landed it a part in the movie "Wayne's World." Remember the classic scene where Wayne and Garth are laying on the hood of the Pacer, staring up at the starlit sky and spouting deep thoughts? Actually, talking about a babe… and Garth gives her the ultimate compliment by saying, "If she were a president, she would be Baberaham Lincoln." But I digress.

In my (correct) opinion, the Ugly-Car Crown was finally snatched away from the Pacer, by the Pontiac Aztek, in the late '90s or thereabouts. Criminy – whoever(s) designed the Aztek should be flippin' burgers with Kevin Federline! What were they THINKING? It looks like an ugly car on top of some kind of weird ugly-car box-spring foundation. (A comparison might be made with the boxy little Scion… but its ugliness has a certain ugly-duckling appeal. GM went WAY beyond "cute-ugly" with the Aztek.)

But – they sold some. They also DIDN'T sell a lot of 'em… my brother-in-law Steve, who travels extensively, says they were a staple of the rental car fleets for a long time… you had to pay extra for a non-Aztek. (The more self-conscious renters were willing to pay the difference… particularly those who were worried that they might see somebody they knew while driving.) Thankfully, I believe General Motors dropped the model, although they continue to lose billion$ every year – obviously Aztek Collateral Damage.

HONORABLE MENTION goes to another vehicle… the noisiest, stinkiest, and likely widest. The Dodge Mega-Cab Diesel Dually pickup. You can hear it comin' a half-mile before it arrives. (Sounds a little like a Massey-Ferguson tractor.) You can smell it a half-mile after it's gone. (Belches black smoke like, and smells like, an Allis-Chalmers.) And the thing is almost 21 feet long, and 8 feet wide! (An 8-foot wide vehicle in a 10-foot-wide traffic lane… do the math!)

NOTE – I'm only addressing factory-stock vehicles here. There are people – kids, mostly – who take a decent-looking vehicle and deliberately make it ugly by putting a big ol' aluminum carrying handle / "wing" on the back, cover it with cheap plastic J.C. Whitney ornamentation, replace a couple quarter-panels with a different color, etc. There are also people who spend thousands to make their vehicles even noisier than the Dodge Mega-Diesel. Maybe somebody's out there trying to make his vehicle even stinkier, too!

If you drive a Pontiac Aztek… I'm sorry! My advice to you would be to drive it off a cliff, then call the cops and tell 'em somebody stole it!

Idaho Greats - Bernie Fisher

2007-02-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

I had a Brush with Greatness earlier today (Feb 14 - Valentine's Day).

Every year, there is a Salute to Veterans at the local VA Hospital, in conjunction with Valentine's Day. And, just as we've done the last couple years, the little office choral group I'm in has gone and sung patriotic songs in the hallways.

This year, we were sharing the halls with NFL Hall of Famer Jerry Kramer, who was also there to greet and honor the vets. (I saw the Super Bowl ring that once was lost, but miraculously is now returned to his finger. That's a different story.)

We also crossed paths with another hero - the Real Deal. Bernard F. Fisher. You'd never guess it by looking at his aging frame and listening to his quiet but cheerful demeanor... but on March 10, 1966, his successful rescue of a fellow pilot, downed in the jungles of Vietnam, resulted in his being awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor by President Lyndon B. Johnson. (The first living Air Force recipient.)

The citation:

"For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. On that date (10 March 1966), the Special Forces camp at A Shau was under attack by 2,000 North Vietnamese Army Regulars. Hostile troops had positioned themselves between the airstrip and the camp. Other hostile troops had surrounded the camp and were continuously raking it with automatic weapons fire from the surrounding hills. The tops of the 1,500-foot hills were obscured by an 800-foot ceiling, limiting aircraft maneuverability and forcing pilots to operate within the range of hostile gun positions, which often were able to fire down on the attacking aircraft. During the baffle, Major Fisher observed a fellow airman crash land on the battletorn airstrip. In the belief that the downed pilot was seriously injured and in imminent danger of capture, Major Fisher announced his intention to land on the airstrip to effect a rescue. Although aware of the extreme danger and likely failure of such an attempt, he elected to continue. Directing his own air cover, he landed his aircraft and taxied almost the full length of the runway, which was littered with battle debris and parts of an exploded aircraft. While effecting a successful rescue of the downed pilot heavy ground fire was observed, with nineteen bullets striking his aircraft. In the face of the withering ground fire, he applied power and gained enough speed to liftoff at the overrun of the airstrip. Major Fisher's conspicuous gallantry, his profound concern for his fellow airman and his intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty are in the highest traditions of the United States Air Forces and reflect great credit upon himself and the Armed Forces of his country."

That's just part of the story, however (which I've heard him tell on at least a couple different occasions over the years). Once he was airborne again, in his shot-up plane with his fellow pilot, it seemed extremely unlikely he had enough fuel to return to the friendly base. But somehow - on fumes and a prayer - he made it back.

After he retired, he finished raising his family, along with sweet corn, lima beans, and a couple cows, out Kuna way.

Is Mitt Romney a legitimate candidate?

2007-02-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

In the crowded world of Pre-Primary Presidential Contenders, Mitt Romney's name has surfaced early and often as a possible GOP candidate. (The GOP front runners are Rudy Giuliani and John McCain; the "conservative" voice of the GOP has problems with both of them.)

Since I'm an active "Mormon," as is Mr. Romney, I'm following this story rather closely.

Romney certainly looks presidential - in fact, his movie-star looks could win over some of the soccer moms who might otherwise vote for Hillary Clinton just because she's a woman. (It's unfair to make light of voters, and the reasons they vote... but people lay down their votes for some pretty odd reasons, and many are "too busy" to study the issues, and the positions of the candidates on those issues. And it's easy to get cynical and dismiss the whole thing, since many of the candidates seem to state their viewpoints based on the audience they are speaking to. But it's probably always been that way.)

Some of the pundits are saying Romney could never be elected because he's a Mormon. Here is a link to an article that appeared in the New York Times, reprinted in the Deseret News, about that very issue.

I'm giving the voters more credit than that. (But I could be wrong.)

First of all - Romney was governor of Massachusetts, for crying out loud! Massachusetts - the state that brought you Edward Kennedy, Barney Frank, and Jon Carry! (Maybe that discredits the voters of Massachusetts - hahaha! And others will argue that the liberals of MA voted for the Mormon so they can feel good about how tolerant they are... and he wouldn't get that same favor from the evangelical Christians in Iowa, or North Carolina.) Also, if Ms. Clinton ended up being the Democrat candidate, the Reverend Jerry Falwell said, "... Nothing will energize my [constituency] like Hillary Clinton," and added that conservative Christians would vote for Lucifer himself over Hillary Clinton.

What concerns me more about Mr. Romney is his apparent "political posturing," and his apparent lack of strong views on issues that are of critical importance to me.

As mentioned earlier, he was elected governor of Massachusetts. When he was running, he was VERY clear about supporting the "right" of a woman to abort her unborn baby. He said it over and over again, because he was asked about it, over and over again. Same thing with gay rights. He once sided with the gay coalition, and against the Boy Scouts. Same thing with guns. He was on the record as favoring more restrictive gun laws. He's also been both for and against the Bush tax cuts, which are set to expire in 2010.

Some people might not vote for a Mormon. I won't automatically vote for a Mormon. I'm waiting for Mr. Romney to explain his apparent flip-flopping (now that he's painting himself as the most "conservative" choice of the GOP candidates).

Of course... if I walk into the voting booth on that November Tuesday, and the names on the ballot are Hillary Clinton and Lucifer Beelzebub... I'll have to hold my nose and vote for that Beelzebub guy, even if I don't know his position on babies and gun control!
(-;

Super Bowl XLI - Coaches' Profiles

2007-02-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

Much is being made of the fact that for the first time ever, an African-American will be coaching a Super Bowl team. But even more unlikely - African-Americans will be coaching both teams competing in the Super Bowl! That is awesome! Tony Dungy of the Colts, and Lovie Smith of the Bears both deserve to be where they are.

Let me be the first to observe that Lovie and Tony are both "mainstream African-Americans who are articulate and bright and clean and nice-looking guys!"

(I may be plagiarizing Joe Biden, but since he's a well-known plagiarizer himself, he oughtta not mind too much, huh?)
(-;

Cell-Phone Evolution

2007-01-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

As Yakov Smirnoff would say, "Votta Countrie!"

First we had cell phones, disconnecting us from the wall jack, and totally revolutionizing our voice communications.

I have to admit, I don't fully understand the appeal of cell phones, being that I relish my moments away from the phone! (My boss likes me to be constantly available, or I wouldn't carry one at all.)

For kids, they are a status symbol. All the cool kids have cell phones; all the losers are phone-less.

Maybe that's true of adults as well. Cell phones have quickly become an indispensable part of our upscale, mobile culture. People buy plans with 3000 "any time" minutes. 2900 of those minutes are inane babble, but... use it or lose it. That's why you see people with phone-plastered-to-ear when driving, walking down the grocery aisle, dining in a nice restaurant, or watching a movie. (After all, those minutes can't be used up when you're working or watching Desperate Housewives, or sleeping!)

I saw a guy riding his motorcycle - on a public street - one handed, because his other hand was holding a cell phone to unhelmeted ear. (I ride a motorcycle, and I don't know how you could do that at all, let alone safely. After all, you need left hand to operate the clutch and the right hand for the throttle. He wasn't riding well, but he was riding. He's probably dead by now.)

The next big step was picture-phones. Take a grainy photo with your camera, and send it to the person you're talking to!

Mom and Dad went to the Seattle World's Fair, back in the early '60s, and the two things that really wowed 'em were... the Space Needle, and telephone with picture! Well, we've finally arrived! So - the cool kids have picture-phones, the losers have plain phones.

The next step is another one that baffles me - text messages. I s'pose there are instances where a text message makes sense, like if you've got to send somebody a phone number, or address or a vehicle ID number. But why would you spend 10 minutes composing and sending a message from your cell phone to somebody else's, when you could use your cell phone and call that person and convey the same message in a 20-second conversation? Weird, wild stuff.

And now... proving we're almost to the Gene Roddenberry Star-Trek Gilded Age... hands-free cell-phoning! One variation is called "Bluetooth." Shouldn't it be called "Blue-Ear"? (Or maybe I'm way off base, and it's called that after its inventor, Earl Bluetooth.) Evidently, hands-free phoning is for people who have the 6000 any-time minute plan, and so they have to keep talking not only while waiting for their meal in the restaurant, but also while they're chewing. Or the busy college student who has to use up her minutes while taking lecture notes.

Of course, who can deny it looks really cool to be walking around with a hunk of plastic hanging from your ear, every waking moment? (Especially if it has a little blinkie-light on it.)

I'm waiting for the hands-free thingie to drop in price a little bit. I'll get one and wear it, just so I look really cool... and so people won't look at me quite as funny when I'm walking around, talking to myself.

STRANGE NEWS ROUNDUP

2007-01-25T12:05:00.000-07:00

Click on a "headline" to read the full story.

Medical Mystery: Compulsive Hoarders

Are you a packrat? There's a fine line between simple clutter and extreme hoarding. Most hoarders, observers say, are physically incapable of throwing things out.

Boy's Screaming Kills Chickens

Hundreds of chickens have been found dead in east China - and a court has ruled that the cause of death was the screaming of a four-year-old boy who in turn had been scared by a barking dog.

Police say obsessed Oregon woman stole rabbits from police

An obsessed woman broke into a police holding area to take back about 130 rabbits she had been accused of neglecting, police said. In October, Hillsboro police seized 150 live rabbits from the home of Miriam Sakewitz and found nearly 100 more dead ones in a trio of freezers.

Jimi Hendrix Energy Drink in Works

A new energy drink doesn't promise to give you the juice to play guitar like Jimi Hendrix, but it does hope to give you a "Liquid Experience." ... The image of Hendrix has [also] been licensed for products including baby clothing, an air freshener, lava lamp and a Christmas ornament.

Uncle Rico Syndrome

2007-01-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

You probably remember Uncle Rico from the movie, "Napoleon Dynamite." And you've probably known an "Uncle Rico" or two in your life. I know I have.

Uncle Rico's defining characteristic is that he revels in the glory of the past. You see, he was the star quarterback, 15 years ago when he was in high school. And he prefers reminiscing about life back then, rather than focusing on his present wretched existence. (He demonstrates that he hasn't lost his throwing arm, by hurling a steak, accurate as a laser-guided missile, into the side of his bike-riding nephew Napoleon's head.)

I'm starting to worry that 50,000 or so local people are afflicted with Uncle Rico Syndrome. It seems to be going around, as badly as the Boogie Fever Epidemic of the 70s. (Or... maybe it's actually dying down, but a frantic local media is trying to keep it alive.)

How long will we continue to bask in the glory of the Fiesta Bowl, and our beloved Broncos' 13-0 football season?

The ticker tape parade is over now. The cheering and laughter, and ceaseless "Boyyyyyyyyy-Seeeeeeeeee..... Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!" have died down. But there are still autograph-signing dates. I'm still seeing cars driving around with huge Bronco decals on the doors, and tattered blue and orange Bronco flags snappin' in the wind. (There are at least 1000 "number one fans" in town. Soon, due to the ravages of time and weather, those flags will be lying in the gutters, just like the American flags a few months after 9/11. At least the Fiesta Bowl is more positive than 9/11, huh?)

If I hear one more personalized play-by-play call of the last minute of the game, and the overtime, I think I'll grab a steak and throw it at the commentator!!

(-;

At my household, we've become rather cynical. When the obligatory local-TV-news "Fiesta Bowl Update" comes on, you hear the hollerin' begin. "Mom! Come here! Hurry! Fiesta Bowl news!"

We all watched the game, and were thrilled with the outcome, and are proud of our Broncos. But people, it's time to give the Fiesta Bowl a rest already! (Although we obviously hope to hear daily news updates on how the football-star / head-cheerleader relationship is going.)

Jack Bauer – American Hero or Racist Swine?

2007-01-19T14:38:00.000-07:00

Do you watch "24"? I didn't for the first 3 ½ seasons. But then I made the mistake of watching an episode, and quickly got hooked.

In fact, I even bought a "Season 1 Box Set" to catch up with. But in a way, it's better to watch the broadcast version… the commercials give you a chance to catch your breath. That is one HIGH TENSION teevee show!

If you don't watch… Jack Bauer, played by Kiefer Sutherland, works for the CTU – Counter-Terrorism Unit. He works out of the L.A. office of that super-secret agency, which is conveniently nearby the Fox sound stages, etc. Each season is one day (24 hours, hour-by-hour) of Jack's crime-fighting life. But he's not doing battle with jaywalkers, or even bank robbers. His enemies are the international dudes – think "Doctor Evil" – who have plastic explosives, nerve gas, or a big flippin' bomb they want to set off in the U.S.A. Jack Bauer foils their plans while the rest of us sleep.

"24" has a huge following. Not huge like "American Idol," or "You're Fired!," but kinda huge. I saw Kiefer Sutherland the other day on Charlie Rose. He said their fans run the gamut from VP Dick Cheney, to Barbra Streisand. (So, the show is beloved by both Nazis and Commies! Hahahaha)

But this year, the accusations have renewed.

In the 4-hour premiere event (broadcast January 14 and 15), Jack fell into the hands of MUSLIM fanatics, who are intent on killing him, and then setting off their Suitcase Nukes around the Fruited Plain, to bring America to her knees. Fortunately, Jack escapes. But at the end of the 4th hour, despite his best terrorist-fighter efforts, one of the fictional nukes goes off, fictionally blowing up a bunch of fictional L.A.-area citizens. Jack was all set to retire, but that single event made him decide to stick around for 20 more hours, to deal harshly with the bad guys. Who have 4 more suitcases. AWESOME!

The Muslims are upset about how they are portrayed in "24." They see it as bad P.R. – Muslims blowing people up. An unfair stereotype. Some kook might blur the line between fiction and reality, and get the wrong idea about Muslims.

I know "24" has changed my life.

The other day, some lady was riding in the elevator with me. Had kind of a Russian-like look about her. I was instantly suspicious. She started talking on her cell phone – IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE! I did what Jack Bauer would have done – wasted her. Single 9mm in the forehead. And then got off on the next floor, being careful not to leave fingerprints on the elevator button.

And – the very next day (!!) – I saw a guy driving a taxicab. Definitely not from around here… he looked Muslim! I figured that Russkie gal had probably been talking to him on her phone, before I could take her out. So I wasted the dude. He slumped over the steering wheel, and his taxi careened down Bannock Street and ran into a telephone pole.

But seriously… a couple points to consider.

1) I find it REFRESHING to watch a television drama where the villain, or window-peeper, or rapist, or whatever-threat-to-society, isn't a Christian white guy. (And most often a CONSERVATIVE Greed-Driven suit-wearing Evil Businessman.)

Fox said in their prepared statement about the Muslim accusations: "24 is a heightened drama about anti-terrorism. After five seasons, the audience clearly understands this, and realizes that any individual, family, or group (ethnic or otherwise) that engages in violence is not meant to be typical. Over the past several seasons, the villains have included shadowy Anglo businessmen, Baltic Europeans, Germans, Russians, Islamic fundamentalists, and even the (Anglo-American) president of the United States."

2) If the Muslims are concerned about being stereotyped as suicidal, wild-eyed, bomb-wielding crazies, maybe they should first try to influence their suicidal, wild-eyed, bomb-wielding crazy fellow Muslims to scale it back a little, before attacking the poor misunderstood Hollywood people! Just a thought.

Can you judge someone by the car he or she drives?

2007-01-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

Results from an interesting AP-AOL poll were released on 1/15; 62% of those polled say "they can tell something about someone's personality from the kind of car he or she drives." And the more affluent or better-educated, the more likely they are to feel they can make such an evaluation.

Let's try to understand, using some real-life scenarios.

Is the guy who drives an F350 Super-Duty turbo-diesel crew-cab dually pickup truck more likely to be a macho, outdoors, rugged he-man -type than some milquetoast who drives a Toyota Corolla?

No doubt!

But what if he gets to his destination, and steps out of the vehicle, and it turns out to be Wally Cox instead of Paul Bunyan? (For you kids who are reading, and don't know who Wally Cox is... substitute Clay Aiken.) Or worse – what if it turns out to be Betty White? Some of them sweet little grandmother-type ladies might like the big rugged pickup trucks. (My momma could drive one, just as capably as Dinty Moore... know what I mean?)

Is the guy who drives a Porsche Carrera more likely to be a rich playboy-type than the guy who's driving a '74 Olds Cutlass?

DUH!

How about the stereotype middle-age guy, who's balding and fighting the belly, and has a mid-life crisis and buys a shiny red Corvette. What can we judge about HIS personality? (Maybe in the post-Viagra years, that thing doesn't happen so often. Hahahaha)

Here's a tougher one.

Is the Hummer driver more likely to be a Democrat, or Republican? How about the Volvo driver? How about the guy riding around in the back of the stretch limo? Do people choose transportation on the basis of their politics?

The most amusing drivers are those who drive the "rice burners." (You know – those little Japanese cars that the kids like. How sad for them! When I was a kid, the cool kids drove GTXs and Corvettes and '56 Fords.) Nowadays, they drive what was once a Honda or Mitsubishi, but it's been rendered unrecognizable with the addition of huge but non-functional hood scoops, wings on the back (look more like carrying handles to me), low-profile tires, 10,000-watt onboard ghetto blasters, etc. What can you learn about those drivers, by observing their cars?

How about me? I ride a bike. (Maybe that doesn't count.)

I WILL tell you this… the car companies are certainly convinced that America will buy a car based on the image of that car. Witness the millions (if not billions) that are poured into marketing and advertising cars on TV. And I'll go this far... lots of folks buy a car because of that "image" - their purchasing decision includes their perception of what others will think of 'em, when they're motoring about in their new stylin' pimped-out ride.

The sporty cars lean toward mystique… cryptic names made up of meaningless strings of characters and numbers, heavy on the X's and Z's.

The SUV-types, and pickups, usually get the "macho treatment." Even the names are macho – the new Dodge vehicles? "Caliber." "Nitro." ("Nitro" isn't likely to explode, is it? It's good they didn't name the Ford Pinto the Ford Nitro… that woulda come back to bite 'em in the butt!)

I tend to make quick snap-judgments about drivers, based on their cars, when I'm riding my bicycle and see one approaching. If it's a kid in a rice-burner, I'm wary, because they are usually the worst drivers, except for maybe distracted cell-phone SUV Soccer Mom. If it's a guy in a pickup truck, I'm wary, because SOME of them seem to think they have an exclusive right to the road, and are hell-bent on occupying the same space as I am occupying, to intimidate me. (All pickup drivers aren't stupid rednecks... but stupid rednecks tend to gravitate to pickup trucks.)

In a related story, it was recently revealed that gays and lesbians are likely to pick certain vehicles for their transportation. (Reported on a source no less reliable than "Click and Clack, the Tappett Brothers"!!)

The Lesbian top five:
5. Honda CR-V
4. Ford F-150 pickup
3. Jeep Wrangler
2. Subaru Forester
1. Subaru Outback

The gayest cars in America:
5. Mazda Miata
4. Jeep Wrangler
3. BMW 3-Series
2. VW "New Beetle"
1. VW Jetta

Weigh that, too, my friends, when you are making your critical vehicle purchasing decision. If you're a guy, you'd have to be pretty darn comfortable in your manhood to drive a New Beetle or a Jetta, huh? Be gay! Or look just like one when you're driving!

(Accompanying graphic was snagged from The Onion awhile back - the "anger powered" concept car. For people who tend to road-rage when they're driving.)

My Grandbaby

2007-01-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

Baby Mackenzie, born 4 January 2007. 8lbs., 12oz. (The fishermen I know say that's a BIG one!) Being held by her great-grandma.

Are motorcycles dangerous?

2006-07-20T13:35:00.000-06:00

Are motorcycles dangerous?

My nephew asked me that a few days back. He said he and his sisters are suddenly “fascinated” by motorcycles. Part of it, he said, is the prospect of saving on transportation costs, part is the undeniable allure of that high-performance, exciting way to get around. But his father discourages it, saying motorcycles are dangerous.

I can identify. My fascination with motorcycles started at an even younger age. My dad bought a Suzuki 80cc “scrambler” when I was probably 9 or 10, then upgraded to a 120cc. I loved riding passenger; I can still remember looking down and seeing the ground whizzing by, directly under foot… that was a new sensation! And my friends’ dads… Dan’s dad had motocross bikes – big 360cc Husqvarnas and such. Ralph’s dad had a SWEET 650cc Triumph; I used to stand in his garage and admire that thing, chrome gleaming in the shadows.

My favorite pastime was hanging out at Herb Uhl’s motorcycle shop out on State Street. He had Suzukis, plus European dirt bikes – Bultaco, Maico, Montesa, CZ, Husqvarna. Then Carl’s opened next door. He sold Kawasakis, and Bonanza minibikes. I don’t know what the guy was thinking – he actually occasionally let us ride his “demo” minibike out on a little test circuit set up out back. (I s’pose it paid off; years later I bought a Kawasaki KH500 from him.) Across town on Vista, “Dirty” Al Russell had his Yamaha shop. Buzz Chaney sold Triumphs, down on Main Street. They all knew me. Motorcycles have been in my blood since early on, and I started riding around 12 years old. (Essentially all of my riding was off-road until I was 17 or so. That off-road riding was invaluable in giving me a set of motorcycle handling skills.)

First, let me address the cost of owning and operating a motorcycle, as compared with a car.

I’d guess you (typically) won’t save a huge amount of money, per mile, using a motorcycle. Unless you own the motorcycle free and clear, you’ll have monthly payments. (An entry-level motorcycle will cost as much as a decent used car. Of course, it all depends on how much motorcycle you need… but the more “alluring” ones come with fairly substantial price tags.) Same thing with gas. A mileage-champ motorcycle might get 60 or more MPG… but the “alluring” motorcycles get less than that. Compare with an economy car that might get 35-40MPG, in which you can transport 3 of your friends. Motorcycles have to be maintained, just like cars. (Many of the “alluring” ones are as complex as any car, with 5 or 6 valves per cylinder, liquid cooling, fuel injection, etc. … but everything miniaturized. Unless you’re an accomplished mechanic, you’ll be frustrated to maintain such a beast yourself.) And stuff wears out… chains, tires, etc. You’ll find that motorcycle tires are way more spendy than car tires. There are other cost factors to consider – insurance, parking, etc.

(Keep in mind I’m mostly addressing the “alluring” type motorcycles. If you’re shopping for a motorcycle/scooter-type vehicle strictly for economical transportation, you can get one that costs less to buy, does much better on fuel mileage, is relatively low-maintenance, and for which tires don’t cost $200 apiece. But it’s not the kind of motorcycle you see in the movies, passing cars at 200mph with a Tom Cruise look-alike laying on the tank, or rumbling through the urban jungle with Schwarzenneger at the controls.)

Also when considering cost of owning and operating… do you see a motorcycle being your only transportation, or will it supplement an “enclosed” vehicle? Will you want to ride your motorcycle when it’s 100 degrees out? Or 10 degrees? If you get snow or ice, what will you do? Are you uncomfortable if the temperature isn’t 70-75 degrees?

If it’s your second (or third, or fourth) vehicle, you’ll be paying to own and operate the other vehicle(s), too. They all need to have the oil changed, insurance, parking, etc.

I’m not trying to discourage my reader from buying a motorcycle… but please be realistic.

Now… back to the original question.

Are motorcycles dangerous?

Yes.

Everything is dangerous. Driving a car. Shoveling snow out of the driveway. Mowing the lawn. Taking a bath. (Hundreds of people die every year when they slip in the bathtub.)

I’ll forever remember the day Dad crashed his motorcycle. (It’s etched into my brain, very much like the circumstances when the news came over the loudspeaker that President Kennedy had been shot, or that day in 2001 when the planes flew into the Twin Towers.)

It was a beautiful summer day – perfect conditions for a nice motorcycle ride. The family had been at a Little League baseball game at Camel’s Back Park, and we were headed for home.

Mom, as usual, was piloting a station wagon full of kids. Dad was following, a half-block behind, on the Suzuki 120.

Mom went through an intersection. Dad followed.

I don’t know whose fault it was; it really doesn’t matter. A car entered the intersection from a side street, after Mom had gone through. Dad swerved the motorcycle to avoid a collision. It went down, and he and the motorcycle slid along the pavement. (I was in the backward-facing seat in Mom’s car, and watched it unfold.)

Dad scraped up his ankle pretty good, and gouged his shin. He was bloodied, but not seriously injured, thank goodness. The motorcycle was essentially unscathed. He righted it, and rode it home. He parked it, and if he ever got on it again, I don’t remember. Obviously his opinion of the risk-vs.-benefit ratio had changed in a split second.

After that, I don’t remember him coming right out and verbally discouraging me from my abiding interest in motorcycles. But I remember him bringing home a pair of eyeglasses that a motorcyclist had been wearing when he fatally collided with a farm truck. One of the temple pieces was jammed clear through a wooden board. On another occasion, he took me to the hospital to see a guy who had crashed his motorcycle and was lying comatose, and on life support. I respected Dad’s viewpoint, and considered the high stakes. But the lure of the chrome and twist-grip throttle held me fast. (Dad kept the Suzuki, and I’m sure I put many more miles on it – off-road miles – in the ensuing few years, than he had ever ridden it.)

How dangerous is riding a motorcycle?

Statistically… per mile traveled, you are approximately 16 times more likely to die in an accident when riding a motorcycle, than when driving an enclosed motor vehicle. And 3 times as likely to be injured. It’s common sense… you are VERY exposed and vulnerable on that 2-wheeled contraption. You need to avoid accidents at all costs, because if you’re in an accident, you almost certainly will be either injured or killed. By comparison, the majority of auto-accident victims get out their smashed car and walk away.

Can you avoid dying in a motorcycle accident?

Motorcyclists like to blame accidents on “the other guy.” And there’s no denying – drivers frequently have a hard time seeing, or recognizing, motorcycles on the road.

My strategy is simple. When I’m riding, I like to imagine that I’m invisible, and that nobody can see me. That way, I’m never totally surprised when somebody doesn’t see me.

BUT – it’s not always the other guy’s fault. In fact, it’s safe to say that in most accidents involving a motorcycle, the motorcycle driver is at least partly to blame. Consider:

45% of all motorcycle fatalities are SINGLE-VEHICLE accidents. (You’d think ALL of those accidents could be avoided.)
In 41% of all fatal motorcycle accidents, the motorcycle driver was speeding.
In 31%, the motorcycle driver was intoxicated.
In 18%, the motorcycle driver did not have a valid operator’s license.
(All of those numbers are from NHTSA 1998, but they probably haven’t changed substantially.)

This is significant – 46% of all motorcycle fatalities involve riders not wearing helmets. Head injury is a leading cause of death in motorcycle accidents.

There’s a good chance that NONE of the 2284 motorcyclists who died and 49,000 who were injured (1998) expected it to happen, on the fateful day. Unfortunately, many of them made conscious decisions to increase the risk of riding by speeding, impairing themselves, riding helmetless, etc. Motorcycling is dangerous enough under the best of circumstances; why compound the risk?

My advice for somebody who is considering riding a motorcycle for transportation and/or pleasure:

GET A BIKE! Bicycles, for day-in, day-out local transportation, are SO MUCH more “fascinating” than motorcycles! “Bikers” (the motorcycle type) like to call cars “cages,” implying that you lose some freedom by using a car rather than a motorcycle. But realistically, what do you gain if you ride a motorcycle? You’re stuck in the same traffic jams on the same crummy roads. You’re subject to the same laws. You’re still looking for a parking spot. You’re still a slave to the insurance company, Big Oil, etc. From the viewpoint of the bicycle saddle, motorcycles are pretty restrictive, as well.

But besides that…
- Educate yourself about the risk involved, and decide if you are willing to accept that risk.
- Educate yourself about how that risk can be minimized, and make up your mind to do everything possible to protect yourself.
- Take the STARS Beginning Rider Course. It thoroughly covers the risks, and how to minimize those risks. Some folks take the course and decide that motorcycling is NOT for them. It’s great to know that, before you’ve plunked down $5000 or $10,000 or more for a motorcycle.
- If you take up the pastime, get as much experience as you can without venturing into heavy traffic. Be familiar with your machine… its capabilities and limitations. Keep it in tip-top mechanical condition. Take advantage of training opportunities. Always wear a helmet, and ideally, high-top shoes and other protective gear. Ride legally, assertively and defensively. Don’t let ANYTHING distract you from your riding, and don’t let anything or anybody take you by surprise… your life depends on it. Bon voyage!

SEGWAY - coming to a Greenbelt near you!

2006-07-18T13:20:00.000-06:00

The Boise Parks Department has announced their approval of the use of "Segway Human Transporters" by disabled folks on the Greenbelt.

I don't know if that will have any impact; I've never seen a Segway in real-life, in Boise or elsewhere. There must be one, and it's operator must've requested permission, I s'pose.

Segway riders will join pedestrians, pedestrians with dogs, cyclists, cyclists with dogs, cyclists with cell phones, roller skaters, roller bladers, and skateboarders in the usage mix.

They will also join MOTORIZED traffic - parks golf carts, "security/volunteer" golf carts, the occasional police team on motorcycles, etc. (Does anybody else have a problem with all that motorized traffic? Although some of it is necessary and justified, it's as though somebody in a high place doesn't understand the attraction of the Greenbelt. I believe a lot of people enjoy getting AWAY from motorized traffic, and that's why they gravitate to the Greenbelt. Why not have physically-fit volunteer patrols... people who can navigate on foot, or on a bicycle? I just think it sends the wrong message when the Greenbelt is clearly posted "No Motor Vehicles," and yet it's occupied by a wide assortment of bureaucratic motor vehicles, leaving just the common folk without motors. (And besides... is it legal or illegal for people with various motorized bicycles, skateboards, scooters, carts, etc., to operate those vehicles on the Greenbelt?)

The Greenbelt is a diverse mix of transportation modes and speeds. On nice summer weekends when traffic gets heavy, it can become a "heady" experience to try to navigate through the mix. (Add in the people who stop and stand, bovine-like, on the Greenbelt, and the motorized traffic... you better be paying attention, for your own safety.)

(I'm attaching a series of photos of Dubya trying out a Segway. He didn't get it down the first time, apparently. I'd rather see him riding his bike on the Greenbelt, than a Segway anyway!)

What's on the (Public) Library Shelf?

2006-07-11T12:56:00.000-06:00

40 years ago, when I was but a lad, I went and saw the brand-new movie “Fahrenheit 451,” based on a Ray Bradbury novel of the same name. It was a disturbing look at a future society in which books had been banned, because they encouraged independent thinking. People were encouraged to “nark” on their neighbors who were illegally harboring books. Rather than put out fires, the “firemen” had the duty of torching huge piles of confiscated books.

Jump forward 40 years. Has the book-holocaust begun? You’d think so, based on the Idaho Statesman editorial (July 11, 2006).

They are applauding the Nampa Library Board for standing their ground and keeping such books as The Joy of Sex and The Joy of Gay Sex on the shelves. (Supposedly on the high shelves, out of the reach of curious kids. Yeah… right.)

In the movie, entire books were committed to memory by lovers of literature, so that they wouldn’t be lost. (You can burn a book, but not a mind.)

Do you s’pose somebody volunteered to memorize The Joy of Gay Sex?

“Banning books is ultimately more dangerous than even a shocking book's content,” the Statesman warns. “It is one of those actions for which the overused phrase ‘slippery slope’ is wholly appropriate.”

Is removing a book from a library’s collection tantamount to a ban, or do I observe a lot of unnecessary hand-wringing?

Australia is a rather progressive, freedom-loving country. They just banned two books, Defense of the Muslim Lands and Join the Caravan, which encourage Islamics to become suicide bombers. Are those books available at the Nampa Public Library, if I can reach the high shelf? Shouldn’t they be?

A notorious tome from the Vietnam era is called The Anarchist Cookbook. It provides detailed instructions on the manufacture of explosives, drugs, telecommunications hacking devices, etc. Why isn’t it available at the Nampa Public Library? (Boise’s library has a copy, but you need to ask at the reference desk.)

Henry Ford – the famous American industrialist – had a series of essays published under the title, The International Jew: The World’s Foremost Problem. Mr. Ford obviously was a very smart man; why can’t we read his ideas at the Nampa Public Library? (Boise has 4 copies in storage.)

Wesley Swift had some interesting ideas. He preceded our own famous Idahoan, Richard Butler, leading the so-called “Church of Jesus Christ Christian.” Swift, whose father was a Methodist minister, believed that all non-Aryans are “mud people” and unlike white folks, do not have a life in the Great Beyond. He wrote numerous books, including The Blue Tunic Army of Christ, Give Not That Which Is Holy unto the Dogs, and Who Crucified Jesus Christ?. Those should probably be in Nampa’s “religious” collection, no?

So, what’s my point?

I’m betting that Nampa library director Karen Ganske makes decisions every day on what should and shouldn’t be available at the library. (If not, she’s overpaid and should be replaced by some of those illegal immigrants, who’ll check books in and put ‘em back on the shelves for $2 an hour.)

The Statesman editorial asks, “Should a library provide safe harbor for ideas — even those some patrons consider shocking or objectionable? Or should a library become a homogenized home only for the materials no one protests?”

While their craftily-worded inquiry tends to ennoble us and make us declare, “Of course we’ll choose freedom!,” perhaps the true answer should be closer to that homogenized, non-offensive collection, when taxpayer dollars are being spent to maintain the collection and the building. (You can’t really blame Nampa’s taxpayers for balking at purchasing The Joy of Gay Sex. Taxpayers also said “no” to using public money for “art” exhibitions featuring masochistic gay sex photos and crucifixes submerged in urine. The taxpayers are kinda fickle that way.)

There is no guarantee in the Constitution that you have the “freedom from being offended.” I’m not easily offended, except by people whose mission in life is to be offended by every possible thing, and complain loudly about how offended they are. “Political correctness” has done far more to stifle expression in the past 30 years than any library book ban. But I can't blame anyone for wanting to keep objectionable materials away from kids, or not wanting to use taxpayer dollars to purchase such materials.

Not having a book at a library is NOT the same as banning a book, and I’m sure the folks at the Statesman realize that. But making that distinction would take a lot of the wind out of their sails.

Perhaps the ACLU could open a little storefront library just up the street, where children and unkempt, shifty-looking men in overcoats can go and check out the stuff that’s deemed “too hot to handle” at the public library.

Idaho State Centennial - July 3, 1990

2006-07-04T14:35:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was the 116th anniversary of Idaho statehood (July 3, 1890). The State Centennial, back in 1990, was particularly memorable for me. As I start out a blog titled "Idaho Spud," I s'pose it's appropriate to share my memoir of that day, as spent by my family and me.

THE IDAHO STATE CENTENNIAL CELEBRATION FROM MY VANTAGE POINT

July 3, 1990

Well, the day had finally arrived that we had anticipated for months, perhaps even years. The downtown streets had been scrubbed and the State Capitol festooned with banners and flags. July second had been uncharacteristically overcast and rainy, but THE day dawned bright and clear; perfect weather for a celebration of grand scale.

My employer, perhaps during a moment of weakness, declared that all employees would get the afternoon off, to join in the revelry. So, with a photocopy of the events of the day in hand, I descended upon my household.

"Hey, you guys! If we hurry, we can be there in time for the 'Parade of Antique Automobiles Carrying Dignitaries'!" I exclaimed, trying to muster enthusiasm among the troops. My children hesitated. Old cars? Dignitaries? But Dad, can't you see we're watching The Flintstones!?

I should have injected a "little white lie" about ice cream in my pitch. Hollie, age 9, Kellyn, 6, and Erik, 4, can move with surprising speed when there is ice cream at their destination. But otherwise, it is difficult to generate any momentum. Robin prodded the kids to put on their shoes and go to the "baf-roon," and hastily put the finishing touches on a picnic lunch. I changed out of my work clothes and put the camcorder in the car, and finally.. we were off.

The hub of the event was doubtlessly the Capitol building, but there were activities, and throngs of celebrants, all along Capitol Boulevard. And the first event on OUR agenda, the old car parade, was scheduled to proceed along the Boulevard to the Capitol at 2:45. We got there at about 2:47.. surely the parade wasn't punctual; these things NEVER go on time. We parked in a motel lot - right by a sign which reads "Unauthorized cars will be towed," and Robin smeared the kids with sunscreen.

We waited five minutes, then ten. Finally I asked some people who had obviously been there for awhile (they had seats!) - they said, "Oh, the old cars came by a while ago!" And so.. we were suddenly in no big hurry any more.

We walked up the Boulevard toward the Capitol, about a mile away. Crowds were everywhere. In fact, I haven't seen so many people in downtown Boise since the new indoor suburban mall opened! Just like the good old days.

We detoured to the Convention Center and listened to Gib and the Kings of Swing. We observed the new Centennial Fountain in the center courtyard.. the spray looked cool and inviting. Everybody else seemed to be milling about, so we tried that for awhile, before once again moving toward the Capitol.

The Parade of Dignitaries had arrived ahead of us; the antique cars were lined up in front of the Capitol Building. An army band was playing Sousa marches, and a throng of pilgrims like ourselves waited for the blessed event.

The dignitaries and their spouses, dressed in period regalia, strutted down the Capitol steps as the master of ceremonies did the introductions. Current governor, former governor, former governor before him, trade representative from Taiwan, the Congressional delegation, Boise's mayor, Boise's former mayor, Chief of the Shoshones, businessman from North Idaho, Head Lawnmower Operator for the Parks Department - you get the idea. I got bored quickly, but the kids NEVER tire of endless streams of important people, so it was difficult to drag them away. When we finally DID leave the Capitol, we slowly made our way back to the car, observing the celebration en route.

The next stop was the Union Pacific Depot at the south end of Capitol Boulevard. A large crowd had gathered there to observe "Old 844," a '40's-era steam locomotive traveling across southern Idaho as part of the centennial celebration. Most of the folks were standing in line to go through the "rolling railroad museum," which supposedly contained, among other things, the original golden spike on loan from the Smithsonian. We decided against the 45-minute wait. The locomotive really was impressive- the driving wheels must have been eight feet in diameter! Big greasy wheels- Erik in particular was enthralled by the choo-choo train. And.. we weren't late for it, either - it lasted from 2pm on, so it would have been hard to get there too late.

We ate Robin's picnic lunch in the shade near the depot. In retrospect, that picnic lunch was arguably the most enjoyable single event of OUR family's centennial celebration. In any case, it was probably the only event that didn't involve a large crowd and a long wait. It was a warm day.. the lemonade was particularly enjoyable.

At 5:30 I announced, "Let's hurry - Mickey and Minnie will be on stage at the park band shell in a half hour!"

Hurrying is a physical impossibility for our family, with the exception of Christmas morning (or for ice cream, as mentioned earlier). We gave it our best effort, and pulled in at about 6:10. No Mickey or Minnie.. it was some banjo guys playing centennial pizza parlor music. So I asked the guy running the sound system. "Uh.. Mickey and Minnie? They already left." Oh, well.. we just about made it!

We DID make it to one other event - the fireworks! There was an Idaho State variety show staged at the BSU Stadium, featuring Indian dancers, Basque dancers, and the inevitable stream of politicians (after all, this IS an election year!) We avoided the variety show, but had good seats for the fireworks.

On your "normal" fourth of July, the local yokels do the fireworks. The normal pattern is: Firework No. 1 - ten second pause - Firework No. 2 - ten second pause - Firework No. 3 - ten second pause, and so on, for ten or fifteen minutes. But this year was special, so they hired the Grucci Family, who are world-renowned for their fabulous firework displays. I believe they are from either Japan, or Italy, or China.

It would be interesting to know how many people actually watched the fireworks. The stadium, which seats 25,000, was filled to capacity. And everywhere you looked in the surrounding area, people were seated on lawn chairs, coolers, blankets, or on the ground, waiting in anticipation. The streets were lined with motor homes, campers, and pickups as folks held "tailgate parties." The air was filled with the smells of the big holiday - barbecue smoke and the acrid smell of fireworks as families lit off their "safe and sane" fountains and cones while they waited.

We were seated near Federal Way, about a half-mile south of the stadium. And we "oohed" and "aahed" along with thousands of spectators as the Grucci brothers maintained their reputation, which was earned at such prestigious and historic events as the Statue of Liberty 100th anniversary (1986), and the BYU "Stadium of Fire" (EVERY year!). The sky was filled with pyrotechnics for close to a half hour.

We were quite a distance from the stadium, and the car was parked even further away. But despite my meticulous planning, we waited 45 minutes to get into the traffic and headed for home. Where, after a brief "private safe-and-sane" firework display, we hit the sack.

******************

July 4, 1990

The local Kiwanis Club serves a traditional pancake breakfast at Julia Davis Park every Fourth of July. They start at 2 or 3 am, and go 'til noon. After my morning bike ride, I was as hungry as the kids. We figured the best way to avoid a crowd would be to get there late, when everybody else had already been served. (Besides.. we get EVERYWHERE late, or so it seems!) So we went to the park at 11 a.m. or thereabouts.

The line was as short as it had been all day, I s'pose, but it was still about a half mile long! I suggested what I thought was a brilliant alternate plan. "I heard they're serving breakfast buffet out at the truck stop! Shall we go there instead?" The kids were wildly enthusiastic, and extremely hungry. Normally, they've had two meals and three snacks by 11. So our next stop was the truck stop.

It looked crowded. We seated ourselves, as instructed by the sign, and waited about 20 minutes for our waitress. It wasn't too bad, though.. there was country music blaring, and interesting people to observe while we waited. Finally our waitress arrived.

"All of us would like the breakfast buffet," I told her.

"Sorry, honey," she replied. "Breakfast buffet is over. Lunch buffet starts at 11 o'clock."

Back to the drawing board. A truck driver walked by with a big plate of ribs and mashed potatoes with gravy. "I'll have the lunch buffet," I said. Robin and the kids opted for breakfast food, and placed their order.

I went and got a plate of food, and the kids all watched with hungry eyes as I ate, and they waited. Poor Kellyn, in particular, looked like one of those starving kids on the African relief posters. She looked like she barely had enough strength left to hold her head up and watch me. I was thinking I should have suffered along with her! Finally their food arrived and they gobbled it hungrily.

From the truck stop, we drove out to the dog pound to pick up a farm dog. This questionable action might make some sense after an explanation.

All summer long, I have been deeply involved with the Simplot Centennial Float. My employer has spent a rumored $50,000 - I believe it - to build and operate a fabulous parade float commemorating the state's centennial. The float is state-of-the-art - it has running water, 53 live pine trees, a water wheel, a 14-foot-high mountain with waterfall, corn and potato plants, grass and flowers, livestock (calves and sheep), etc. And I have been riding on the float, portraying an old-time prospector. Kim Hilliard and Keith Harkless have been the lumberjack and farmer. The farmer has a glamorous farm-wife and two respectful, hard-working farm children.

We won the grand prize in the Nampa parade, and in the Pocatello parade. But the Boise parade - today's - was "The Big One," the main reason for the float's existence. And Mister Blackwell (not his real name, but that's what we call him - he's the "float fashion consultant") thought the farm should have a dog, just to make SURE we won the grand prize. Mr. Blackwell even suggested that I should have a bird riding on my shoulder, but that was voted down as totally unfeasible. Anyway, I got the job of locating a farm dog. The humane society was glad to give me a loaner for the day.

So, I took the kids in with me to pick out a dog. Robin gets depressed seeing all the sweet doggies and kitties, so she waited in the car. We walked up and down the kennels, looking for the ideal candidate. The din was unbelievable.. almost as noisy as our home was during the recent family wedding gathering.

Erik is particularly "sensitive" to bad smells, and there were plenty of bad smells at the pound. He walked along, holding his nose. But then, Hollie shouted, "Dad, Erik is spitting up!" I looked.. she was right. He was walking along the sidewalk behind us, enthusiastically barfing up his recently-eaten breakfast as he went! And boy, wasn't that just the crowning touch?!! I asked Hollie to take him back to the car, but she was lost in the maze that makes up the kennel. So we ALL headed for the exit.

"Did you find one you liked?" the dog pound lady asked.

"Not yet," I replied, and explained that I had to return my child to the car.

Once Erik was back in the arms of a sympathetic mother, we renewed the search. "We have a nice sheep dog," the lady said. She was obviously growing impatient with our window shopping.

"We'll take it!" I was tired of looking, and sheep dog sounded good for our purposes.

The sheep dog was big, and enthusiastic. And after I loaded him in the car, I noticed that he smelled like .. a dog! Plus, he had about a week's accumulation of saliva dripping from the long hair under his chin; definitely a repulsive creature. If Erik had had anything in his stomach at the time, I'm confident he would have lost it!

Hollie loved the dog! Kellyn was a little more wary, and I can't really blame her. After all, they stood eye-to-eye.

The kids played with the dog in the back yard, and he took them for a walk (!) in the park, while I donned my prospector costume.

We drove down to parade headquarters, on University Drive in front of the BSU campus.

It wasn't hard to find the Simplot Float. The mountain on it is as big as many of the houses in that neighborhood!

Mister Blackwell took one look at the sheep dog, and said, "We can't use this dog! It's too 'contemporary'!" That caused a rumble of dissent among the crew, who were collectively tiring of Mister Blackwell and his impeccable eye for design. (And the stogie which he was constantly puffing on - part of his "image," I guess.) Somebody mumbled to me, "HE should have picked out the dog, if he had a particular type of dog in mind."

The farm kids loved the dog, as did the rest of the float people. So Mr. Blackwell reluctantly backed down, and agreed to let the sheep dog participate.

Not long after the dog controversy died down, the judges took their long look at the float, while we stood in our appointed places. The judges must have approved of the dog - they awarded the float TWO prizes, the GRAND Prize (!!) and the Sweepstakes Award. So the pressure was off. Our float definitely deserved the recognition, from what I observed. It looked almost out of place in what could have accurately been called the "Tournament of Crepe Paper" Parade! Nobody else even came close.

Shortly before the parade started, Jack Simplot (THE MAN himself!) put in his appearance! He was slated to ride in an old car, directly in front of his float. He shook hands all around, posed for pictures, inspected the float, and mingled with the "common people." What a guy he is! One of the most personable billionaires I know!

It was interesting to observe how Mr. Simplot drew politicians like a magnet. They were literally standing in line to shake his hand and introduce themselves. He seemed to take it all in stride.

Mister Blackwell had sternly admonished us NOT to wave at, or even acknowledge, the crowd. He wanted for us to all look as "authentic" as possible.. Kim inspecting trees for disease (?!), me panning for gold, and the Farm Family looking stoic. But once the award was in our hands, and the parade underway, we pretty much disregarded his wishes, me in particular. There's just something exciting about hollering out, and having a thousand or so people holler back! A rare experience! My fellow float riders congratulated me afterwards for my masterful job of "working the crowd." I ought to get into politics, or professional wrestling!

The parade was like none Boise has ever seen before! There were 260+ entries, and the route went straight up Capitol Boulevard. They say that 50,000 spectators lined the route, and I believe it. Our float was the 20th entry, and after going 'round, which took 2+ hours, there was still a long line of entries waiting to BEGIN the parade!

I poured the sheep dog a cool drink of water from my prospector canteen into my prospector gold pan, and then went back to the parade route to find my family. They had seen all the parade they needed, or wanted, to see. So we headed out. We returned the sheep dog, which made Hollie cry. (I think the other two kids were relieved to be rid of him.) We went home, and as soon as it was dark enough, we had our own fireworks display in the street out front of our home. They probably weren't as spectacular as the "Grucci" fireworks of the night before, but they were up close! And they were just for us!

And thus ended a memorable occasion in our life, and in the life of this great state of Idaho! Robin said it was one of the best July 4th celebrations she could remember. I hope my children are able to treasure up some memories that will last them a lifetime.